FMAlchemist36's FMA The Abridged Series

"Hey! You pointing your finger at us?!"-Edward
"I wouldn't brandish your trademark arm at me, Elric."-Father Cornello
"Ahh... But he was right, we did attempt a human transmutation. But we just wanted to see Mom's face again. I still remember the time she used to pick us apples, let us play God, buried Al in books... Yep, good memories."-Edward
"Why would the producers hire such poor voice actors?"-Edward
"What in the name of Lieutenant Havoc?!"-Edward
"Heh heh. Poking is fun."-Random Village Weirdo
"Wow, he does have a big chin."-Edward
"Now I'm going to add to my clichéd evil villain persona by locking you in an easily escapable cell with no guard."-Father Cornello
"That's it! I've had it with these mother fu*kin' snakes in my mother fu*king bed!"-Father Cornello
"I shouldn't have stolen the key, but I had to prove Ed wrong at the risk of tramatizing myself."-Rose
"Woaw, this girl's crazy. No point in letting her live, then."-Father Cornello
"I summon you, my mutated chicken! Despite the fact you can barely walk, I want you to rip the flesh off her skin!"-Father Cornello
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Father Cornello: "You see, Rose, these boys attempted the one crime alchemists are forbidden to do... human transmutation. And as a result, their bodies were scarred, and they're forced to find a way to bring it back. Isn't that right?"
Alphonse: "That was uncalled for."
Edward: "Yes, thanks for opening up a wound like that."
Father Cornello: "Well, enough of these psychological torture."
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Edward: "'Know what I say; you can't find a door, then make your own!"
Alphonse: "When have you ever said that, brother?"
Edward: "Shut up, Al."
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Father Cornello: "What the hell are you doing here?"
Lust: "Oh, I'm just here to make random appearances with some fat guy in tights, all the while hinting at a larger story that will continue to episode fifty-one."
Father Cornello: "No, what are you doing in my bedroom?"
Lust: "Wouldn't you like to know?"
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Rose: "I shouldn't have stolen the key, but I had to prove Ed wrong at the risk of tramatizing myself."
(the wind blows away the curtain to "Cain"'s cage, revealing a pitifully existing ex-parrots' soul conglomeration)
Rose: "Cain! Just as I remember you!"
Father Cornello: "Woaw, this girl's crazy. No point in letting her live, then. I summon you, my mutated chicken! Despite the fact you can barely walk, I want you to rip the flesh off her skin!"
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Mustang: "So, boys, have you decided to take the Alchemy Exam, then?"
Alphonse: "What the f*** do you think?!"
Edward: "Sorry, Mustang. He's having his robo-period."
Alphonse: "For the last time, I'm not a f***ing robot! I'm a real boy!"
Edward: "What, like in the fanfics?"
Alphonse: "Ok, I'm a f***ing robot!"
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Mustang: "To help you with your exam, we're gonna send you to an alchemist named Chou Tucker, the Sewing-Life Alchemist. He'll help you. And by help, I mean he'll let you use his books, but he'll offer no useful information whatsoever."
Edward: "Yeahh, that's kinda what we were expecting."
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Edward: "Oh, dear lord. Who taught the child how to speak?"
Alphonse: "I think it was the dog."
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