Sophocles Quotes

"Death is not the greatest of evils; it is worse to want to die, and not be able to."-Sophocles

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter Quotes (Laurell K. Hamilton)

Robert Cody Quotes

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."-Robert Cody

Albert Hitchcock Quotes

"If you show a gun in the first act, it had better have been fired by the third act."-Hitchcock

Hellsing Quotes

''Those who dare impersonate the dead are judged to join thier ranks.''-Alicard

Clips-Best of YYHA's Hiei

"Yes. Now that I have the Artifacts of Darkness, I can use their power to get my show back!" (pause) "And murder people."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I'm going to kill you. But first, I'm going to take off my shirt!"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"If you make a fart pun, I'm going to stab you in the eye with your own finger."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I couldn't resist the Star Wars reference. Oh, and your girlfriend's turning into a demon."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Seriously. If you wanted to die there are plenty of ways. Like jumping in front of a bus, or picking a fight with Tony Jaa."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"No! No more laugh track."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
Hiei: "You're right. And I have a plan so good I could puke!" *puking noise is heard*
"Nin'ty-nine bottles of beer on the wall-" *drunken hiccup* "ninety-nine bottles o' beer-"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"If worse comes to worse, I can kill him out of boredom."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"May I please kill him now?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Honestly, do you have anything to kill around here?"-Hiei, Lanipator's Special Announcement

Clips-Best of YYHA's Kurama

"Logic and anime don't mix."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Amnesia fading!"-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Oh, this guy is so f*cking dead."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Oh, f*** all of you."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I'd say I'm disappointed, but in order for that to be true, I'd have to be surprised."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Great. Now I have retard in surround sound."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Gitrdone, motherf*cker."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"You've run out of conditioner."-Kurama, Lanipator's Special Announcement
"I don't think you were supposed to say that part out loud."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator

Taekmkm's CG Abridged...abridged?!

"It was either an interesting musical metaphor for sex, or the most disturbing way you can spend time with your chicken sandwich."-Lelouch

"Hello? Holy... kidnapping!"-Lelouch

"Listen, innuendos take way too long to explain, and this is an abridge series; so we're just gonna have to be hard and blunt about everything."-Jeremiah

"You'd figure being kidnapped by Batman would be more exiting."-Lelouch

"So this is what Hannibal Lector would look like if he was an anime girl."-Lelouch

"No, I just like killing my own men."-Suzaku's Unit Commander

"You know, even the worst abridges have more than one frickin' song!"-Lelouch

"Time for you to die, so I can go back to my lunch break."-Suzaku's Unit Commander

"Oh, right, I forgot. Everyone's a virgin here, aren't they?"-Suzaku's Unit Commander

"No worries. I'll just kill him, since he's standing right there... Alright, seriously, do I need to wait in line to kill this guy?"-Suzaku's Unit Commander

"You get special powers... after all, this is anime."-C2

"You know, the sad part is, that gave more information to me than the actual anime."-Lelouch

"Alright, you know what? Screw you, screw this show, and screw your stupid music!"-Lelouch

===
Unnamed Terrorist Driver: "I'm... re-enacting my favorite scene from Batman Begins."
Kallen: "Oo, does Batman crash into a building too?"
Unnamed Terrorist Driver: "An... Asian Batman would."
===
Jeremiah: "Alright boys, playtime is over. It's time to make them stroke my penis!"
Unit Grunt: "Uh, sir? Don't you mean you 'ego'?"
Jeremiah: "Listen, innuendos take way too long to explain, and this is an abridge series; so we're just gonna have to be hard and blunt about everything."
(same) Unit Grunt: "Uh, sir-"
Jeremiah: "That wasn't an innuendo!"
===
Suzaku's Unit Commander: "Alright, what point of "holding the the girl down" don't you understand?"
Random Unit Soldier: "Sorry, Sir, it's just that we're anime male characters."
Suzaku's Unit Commander: "Oh, right, I forgot. Everyone's a virgin here, aren't they?"
===
Lelouch: "Ummm... What's going on here?"
C2: "You get special powers... after all, this is anime."
Lelouch: "With robots?"
C2: "Whatever pulls in the ratings."
===
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nYOjbqtrfQ

Justice League Quotes

"What's life without honor?"-Draga
"The real test of honor isn't how you die, it's how you live."-Superman
"Hey, we both got a Martian's phone number on our speed-dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here."-Flash
"Flash, don't heckle the super-villain!"-John Stewart (Green Lantern)
"Gee, why would a hired gun try to shoot somebody? Could it be that... someone paid me to?"-some (decently-skilled) hitman
"What kind of criminals tip off the authorities?"-Hawkgirl
"A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties."-The Streak
"Holy hi-jacking!"-Ray
"Holy hostages!"-Ray
"Is it just me, or are those two the only cops in this town?"-Flash
"That's it. I officially wanna go home."-Flash
"Great jumping Hera!"-Flash
"So, are you here for the high risk, or the low pay?"-Soldier
"Rolemodels? Look, I've seen showgirls with more modesty than this so-called-Wonder Woman."-Godfrey
"Princess, I don't like Godfrey any more than you do. But in this country, he's entitled to his opinion... however bone-headed it is."-John Stewart (Green Lantern)
"Where do these nuts come from?"-Flash
"This night couldn't get any worse; my sponsers just dropped me, and they're all out of iced mochas."-Flash
"Like Granny Flash used to say, why curse the dark... when you can light up a seven hundred watt candle?!"-Flash
"Swirlie lights... fuzzy grilled cheese."-Flash
"Mine are bigger than yours."-Batman
"I can't believe I'm the mature one here."-Flash
"I'm impressed. Let's go wreck it."-Superman
"Ever read The Odyssey? After Odysius was caught by the Cyclops, he told it his name was 'Nobody'. So when he poked it's eye out and it's friends asked who did it, all the Cyclops could say was, "Nobody.""-Batman
"In the fullness of time, we are all dead."-Head Monk of Nundapa...lah or something else Tibetan-ish
"-you have to eat them with a spoon... What am I doing in Africa?"
"Don't touch that remote. I know it's heart-breaking to have your favorite shows pre-empted, but look what you're getting instead; Me... And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage- everything that makes T.V. great!"-Joker
===
Green Arrow: "Is that a containment suit?"
Captin Atom: "Uh-huh. I'm not flesh and blood anymore, just living energy."
Green Arrow: "That wouldn't be nuclear energy, would it?"
Captin Atom: "With a name like Captin Atom, what do you think?"
Green Arrow: "I think you're what I marched against back in college."
===
Detective: "Maybe some coffee will help. How do you take it?"
Flash: "Cream and thirty-seven sugars."
(the detective automatically start the task, then stops and turns to look at the Flash)
Flash: "Really."
===
Flash: "Thanks for sticking up for me in there."
(Green Lantern smacks him upside the head.)
Flash: "Ow!"
===
Hawkgirl: "What kind of criminals tip off the authorities?"
Tom Turbine: "The worst kind."
===
Soldier 1: (reads the inscription on cave entrance) "Cave? Well, duh!"
Soldier 2: "Not cave, caue. It's Latin... means 'Beware'."
===
TV Personality Godfrey: (on his talkshow) "Rolemodels? Look, I've seen showgirls with more modesty than this so-called-Wonder Woman."
Wonder Woman: (smashes her fist in the screen) "I will not tolerate this!"
John Stewart (Green Lantern): "Princess, I don't like Godfrey any more than you do. But in this country, he's entitled to his opinion... however bone-headed it is."
Flash: "Democracy in action. Hey, didn't the Greeks invent that?"
===
Wonder Woman: "And what's wrong with the way I dress?"
Flash: (to Green Lantern): "Uhh... you wanna take that?"
===
Batman: "What do these guys want, anyway?"
Superman: "To take over the world. Or rob banks. I forget."

Norman Cousins Quotes

"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."-Norman Cousins

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."- Norman Cousins

Casshern Quotes

"Because there is death, there is life." - Casshern (anime) episode 2

Robert Benchley Quotes

"When I am dead, I hope it is said,'His sins were scarlet, but his books were read'."-Robert Benchley

"Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."-Robert Benchley

Noir Quotes

"A sinner once passed away will never return, but sins will never vanish and the love will never die." - Les Soldats (Noir)

Hell Girl Quotes

"I shall ferry the soul of your tormentors straight into the depths of Hell..." -Ai Enma, Hell Girl

Samurai Champloo Quotes

"Is there a need for a reason to kill someone?"-Mugen, Samurai Champloo

Neon Genesis Evangelion Quotes

"If you're going to do it, do it now. If not, then leave."-Gendo Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire."-Rei Ayanami, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"Survivability takes priority."-Misato Katsuragi, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"Mankind has no time left."-Gendo Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"The interaction of men and women isn't very logical."-Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, Neon Genesis Evangelion

"You're thinking in Japanese. If you must think, do it in German!"-Asuka, Neon Genesis Evangelion

Anime Movies

"You cannot change your fate; however, you can rise to meet it."-(Princess Mononoke)

"Are you selling soup or donkey piss?"- the "monk" Jigo, Princess Mononoke

"Men are born half-dead, and it takes a lifetime for them to become completely dead."- Kawasaki from the movie Ooru naito rongu 3: Saishuu-shô

Taekmkm Gundam SEED Abridging Quotes

"Did I pack my GameBoy?"-Athrun Zala from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"I'm Lacus. Pop singer, supermodel, you name it."-Lacus Clyne from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"Why am I such a lesbian?"-Murrue Ramius from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"No, Issac, I don't wanna play with your Wii."-Dearka Elsman from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"Wake up, or else I'll make you a grunt!"-Writer
"That's it. I'm buying them headphones next time."-Raww La Cruse
"There seems to be a lot of dying over there."-Natarle
"Do you always chase blonds down dark alleys?"-Cagalli
"Yeah, that's... definitally the opposite of what I said."-Kira
"A new ship? So what? It's nothing more than a big target." *as in ANY abridged series, he turns out to be completely wrong* "Mental note: Apparently I can't hit ships. But surely I can hit a stationary gundam!"-Raww La Cruse
"Wow... We're really getting screwed on air time, aren't we?"-Neuman
"Since when do lackeys have air time?"-Natarle
"Lieutenant Ramius? We're glad that you're alive!"-Natarle
"My name is Lieutenant Mwu La Flagga, and my motto is making the impossible possible."-Mwu
"If my stereotypes are correct, then you must be the main character."-Mwu
"You're gonna die like the rest of them... I mean, victorious. We're gonna be victorious!"-Raww La Cruse
"Even though we have four perfectly working Gundams, we're gonna play it smart and fight with JINNs."-Raww La Cruse
"Just avoid anyone with a bigger sword than you."-Raww La Cruse
"Oh, great time to apply logic."-Kira
"Oh, I don't know, maybe they're here for some chips and porn... No! They're gonna kill us!"-Mwu
"Are you trying to shoot down a mobile suit with ship lasers? Has that ever worked?"-Murrue
"Dammit, why can't I hit anything?!"-Miguel
"Huh. Is that Athrun? Flashback says yes."-Kira
"He wanted to... abridge... an abridge? Man, what's the world coming to?"-Kira
"Does no one realize bad things happen every time she talks?"-(chubby minor char. crewman)
"We have to wait until we can confirm your identity, Mwu La Flagga."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"Well... the title of the episode is called 'Vanishing Gundam', so I'm guessing it has something to do with that."-Dearka
"Man, this is, like, such a lame episode."-Izeak
I'm tired of being the one-episode-filler guys."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"So, with that logic, you think the Archangel is run by the Powerpuff Girls."-Kira
"Wait, you think I'm too young? But you thought the girl was the pilot... Boy, you're ten kinds of stupid, aren't you?"-Kira
"Well. I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, but, ok."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"What is with males and dead things?"-Murrue
"My, all you people have normal colored hair. This isn't a ZAFT ship."-Lacus
"So, do you have any idea why you were in the box?"-Mwu
"Hahhh... Insert randomly stupid Haro quote... Haro."-Haro
"Aw God, not black-and-white again. Come on, the last time this happened, a guy with a knife came at me."-Kira
"I'll peirce your heavens with my drill!"-Kira
"What the f*** was that about? Haro."-Haro
"Lacus, why do I think you signed my death warrant?"-Athrun
"Well, it's certainly been a while since I last piloted. And what better way than to start with a massacre?"-Raww La Cruse
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===
Writer: "Hello, and thank you for watching Gundam Abridged. Today on the first episode, we will- what the...? Kira. Kira, we're on. Wake up!"
Kira: "Nah-nuh... Five more minutes."
Writer: "Wake up, or else I'll make you a grunt!"
Kira: "Alright, alright, I'm up!"
===
Athrun: "Kira... can you make a promise to me?"
Kira: "Sure, Athrun. What is it?"
Athrun: "Promise me you won't join the Earth Federation, kidnap girls, don't fight me to the death in some mega-battle royale."
Kira: "Uhh..."
===
Cagalli: "Do you always chase blonds down dark alleys?"
Kira: "Uhh... is that a trick question?"
Cagalli: "How is that a trick question?"
===
Izeak: "Dude, like, check it out. There's all these buttons and knobs, man. I wonder what they do?"
Dearka: "Oh, I guess the standard... like moving, and shooting. Seriously, did you expect some sort of easy button that said "Hey! A massacre! PUSH!" Why, back in basic training, we had to do this blindfolded with-"
Izeak: "Huh huh huh... Found it."
Dearka: "Then again, I forgot the Federation are pretty much idiots in the first place."
===
Cagalli: "Oh, good. We finally found a shelter."
Kira: "Of course. I have a good sense of direction."
Cagalli: "Actually, it took us this long because of your direction."
===
Neuman: "Wow... We're really getting screwed on air time, aren't we?"
Natarle: "Since when do lackeys have air time?"
===
Mwu: "By the way, my name is Lieutenant Mwu La Flagga, and my motto is making the impossible possible."
Kira: "Wow. Who came up with that?"
Mwu: "Someone who's seen one too many Tom Cruise movies... as you can tell by the first episode."
Writer: "I do not!"
Murre: "What was that?"
Writer: "Uhh, nothing."
===
Kira: "Uh... yes, can I help you?"
Mwu: "If my stereotypes are correct, then you must be the main character."
Kira: "That's correct, but... how?"
Mwu: "A young boy, in a mobile suit, winning his first battle, in an unorthodox way? What else could you be?"
Natarle: "Wouldn't a ZAFT spy make more sense?"
Mwu: "Wow, who hired her?"
===
Raww: "Alright, so I had some set-backs when dealing with that mobile suit, but we're going to be prepared for Round 2! Even though we have four perfectly working Gundams, we're gonna play it smart and fight with JINNs."
Miguel: "Uhhh, I'm gonna have ta take a rain check on that."
Raww: "Your check's been bounced. You're gonna die like the rest of them... I mean, victorious. We're gonna be victorious!"
===
Miguel: "Uhhh, I'm gonna have ta take a rain check on that."
Raww: "Your check's been bounced."
===
Murrue: "Kira, I know this must be a difficult request, but... we need you to pilot the Gundam for us."
Kira: "Alright. Where do I launch?"
Murrue: "I know this must go against your ideals and- wait, what? Can you... repeat that?"
Kira: "I'm a Japanese boy. What did you think I was gonna say?"
===
Kira: "Why is there a gigantic sword, anyway?"
Writer: "That's a sword specifically designed to fight ships."
Kira: "Doesn't the beam cannon accomplish the exact same thing, only... better? Why don't you just give me a beam pistol instead of boomerangs, like Exca from Gundam double O?" (pronunciation for Gundam 00)
Writer: "Because that show didn't exactly exist yet."
Kira: "Oh, great time to apply logic."
===
Mwu: "It looks like ZAFT reinforcements. Get ready!"
Natarle: "Oo! I wonder what they're here for?"
Mwu: "Oh, I don't know, maybe they're here for some chips and porn... No! They're gonna kill us!"
===
Mwu: "Ahh, screw this. Gimme control of the ship cannons."
Murrue: "Are you trying to shoot down a mobile suit with ship lasers? Has that ever worked?"
Mwu: "Hey, I can make the impossible possible."
Murrue: "That's definitely the biggest load of bull-"
*and then the ship laser destroys the JINN*
Mwu: "Wow. That actually worked."
Natarle: "Uhh... the colony's starting to fall apart."
Mwu: "Who cares about that? I just shot down a mobile suit with ship lasers."
===
Natarle: "Uhh... the colony's starting to fall apart."
Mwu: "Who cares about that? I just shot down a mobile suit with ship lasers."
===
Athrun: "Kira! That really is you, isn't it, Kira?"
Kira: "Oh. Hey, Athr-"
Athrun: "Do you not know what a childhood promise is? Did you even listen to me for one second?"
Kira: "There was a big... giant... birdie."
===
Athrun: "Didn't the Writer wanna abridge the movie?"
Kira: "He wanted to... abridge... an abridge? Man, what's the world coming to?"
Writer: "I'm right here, you know!"
===
Murrue: "Well... I heard of warm welcomes, but this is bit to hot even for me."
Natarle: "How is this in any way a warm welcome?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "You've never been to a frat house, have you?"
===
Fllay: "Woaw... They really wanna make this place safe, don't they?"
(a bunch of soldiers with guns enter the room, completed by the accompanying sound of removing their safety-locks)
(chubby minor char. crewman): "Does no one realize bad things happen every time she talks?"
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Haven't you ever wondered why we were never breached, ever, in this war?"
Mwu: "Because this base offers no strategic value whatsoever."
===
Dearka: "Yeah, so I can't frickin' figure out why this place has a shield. I mean, c'mon, it's in the middle of nowhere. What the hell are you protecting?"
Izeak: "Li-i-ike, what a lame base. It's only impentrable because no one bothered trying to attack it."
Dearka: "I mean, c'mon, they're protecting something. It's gotta be porn."
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Alright, I'm gonna ask this once; who's the pilot of the Gundam?"
Artemis's second "important" officer: "Please answer him. I don't wanna stick with this idiot any longer."
===
(black-haired cutie crewman): "What are you planning to do with the Gundam?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Oh, nothing more than extending our air-time through this show. I'm tired of being the one-episode-filler guys."
(black-haired cutie crewman): "Uhh... don't you guys know why you only last one episode?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Eh. I don't really care, as long as we get more episodes."
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "This girl... I think she's a possible candidite to being the pilot, don't you think so?"
Kira: "Exactly what kinda logic led you to believe that?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Well, I do believe your captin is a woman, and so is your chief weaponer... So, by consistancy, the pilot must be a girl, too."
Kira: "So, with that logic, you think the Archangel is run by the Powerpuff Girls."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Well, tell me then, who is the pilot?"
Kira: "If you've been actually paying attention for one minute, I'm the real pilot."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Huh huh huh. Enough with the jokes. You're not the pilot. You're too young."
Kira: "Wait, you think I'm too young? But you thought the girl was the pilot... Boy, you're ten kinds of stupid, aren't you?"
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "That strength... and reflexes... you must be a coordinator!"
Artemis's second "important" officer: "Sir, if beating you up means you're a coordinater, then my 12-year-old niece is also one."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Ok, for the record, your niece is a dirty, dirty fighter."
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Rurouni Kenshin Quotes

"A sword a weapon. The art of swordsmanship is learning how to kill. That is the truth. What Miss Kaoru says is sweet and innocent talk that only those whose hands have never been stained with the blood of men can believe. But to tell you the truth, I much prefer Miss Kaoru's sweet and innocent talk over the truth, that I do."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"A sword is a tool to save people with."-Kaoru, Rurouni Kenshin

"I have no attachment to the name Botosai the Manslayer. Just the same, I can't allow someone like you to wear it."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Don't like at me like the, Botosai. I much prefered the look in your eyes when you said you were going to kill me. Within every fiber of your being, you are truly a manslayer. I am also a manslayer, so I know of what I speak. A manslayer is a manslayer until the day he dies. He can never be anything else. I'll be watching you from the edge of Hell to see how long you can keep saying you're a wanderer."-Jinei, Rurouni Kenshin

"A manslayer is a manslayer until the day he dies. He can never be anything else."-Jinei, Rurouni Kenshin

"A manslayer is a manslayer... until the day he dies."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Oh boy... If they're fighting among themselves already, Kenshin's Group is in for a lot of problems."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Stop it with the 'little' thing!"-Yahiko, Rurouni Kenshin

"Don't worry about it, Kenshin. Nobody ever drowns in this river."-Yahiko, Rurouni Kenshin

"Well, they say even a chance acquaintance is pre-ordained by destiny... but to fall off the bridge with him? Destiny must really not like you."-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"This land... is our kingdom. Let there be blessings for the kingdom of ambition."-Raijuta, Rurouni Kenshin

"If something is in the way... get rid of it!"-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"It's better to tell people exactly what's on your mind."-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"If I'm going to chose my past, I will have to let go of the present."-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"Known for their violence? That doesn't do them justice. The Kairyu are more like demons. They attack as swiftly as an eagle flying through the air and pluck the cargo hold dry. They slaughter anyone who dares to fight back."-Yohei Senbonya, Rurouni Kenshin

"Shura. No one has seen Shura's face and lived to tell of it. He's a mysterious monster, who they say sheds neither blood nor tears. Some say he's not human."-Yohei Senbonya, Rurouni Kenshin

"Time is of the essence. I'm sorry, but I will have to fight without holding back."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"My prey is only the Botosai. You are unimportant."-Aoshi, Rurouni Kenshin

"But he looks as frail and thin as a woman."(about Kenshin)-Hataro, Rurouni Kenshin

"You can die at any time, but living takes true courage."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Himura... It would seem that you are creating another legend."- M_____ (commonly shown police guy with glasses) , Rurouni Kenshin

"Regardless of how the times may change, the truth that we embrace will always remain the same. Evil will be extingished like a candle flame. We believe this; Aku Soku Zan. That is the essence of Shinsengumi."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"There's no hope for Kenshin if even Ayame and Sizume are chewing him out."-Yahiko, Rurouni Kenshin

"Aku Soku Zan- Slay Evil Immediately."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"He lives to this day carrying out the justice of the Shinsengumi. Even in the peaceful times of the Meiji Era, he is still the Wolf of Mibu. And his fangs are bared in the darkness, far from the sun's reach."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Women are scary."-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"If you can't hit anything, you can't call them punches."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"Caution will only delay us now."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"Even if you hide your cross-shaped scar, people who will know you, will know you."-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin

"If you were to examine a man's entire life, you would see that it is full of contradictions."-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin

"You know that your opponent's sword is broken and on top of that, you have a hostage, and you call that fair and square. Are you trying to be funny?"-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin
"New eras don't come about because of swords, they're created by the people who wield them."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"If we were normal, we might not be alive today. And that, my friend, is what gives us the edge we need."-Shishio, Rurouni Kenshin

"Because you've slain so many people, you've taken life for granted, even your own. That's what allows the manslayer's heart, which lies deep within your true heart, to take over your soul. Even if you use the power of that manslayer for a self-sacrificing purpose, such as to protect those you love or the weak, it's simply one tiny pebble in the never-ending river of time."-Saijiro Hiko the XIII, Rurouni Kenshin

"I couldn't care less about settling the score with a moron."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"Getting hugged by you isn't really something I think I'd enjoy that much."-Saijiro Hiko the XIII, Rurouni Kenshin

"It's not about whether I can or can't do it, this is about whether I do or I don't!"-Eigi, Rurouni Kenshin

"If you boss you think you can your instructor around, you won't learn."-Kaoru, Rurouni Kenshin

"She can't control herself 'cause she's afraid of being seperated from Kenshin. What a selfish little girl. But then againg, love and selfishness kinda go hand-in-hand, don't they?"-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"She's scarier than Jinei, she is."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"As you said, there is no time for talk. If you want me to kill you, then please hurry up and prepare for death."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"As expected of the legendary manslayer, you're truly a different person when you're ready to kill."-Jinei, Rurouni Kenshin

"Hiten-Mitsurugi style Bottojutsu, Soiryusan. I'm fully aware that the reverse blade sword is not suited for Bottojutsu. The name Botosai comes from the fact that I have perfected everything concerning Bottojutsu."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"I crushed your elbow joint and tore the ligaments. Your life as a swordsman is now over. And so is... your life as a human being."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"To protect Miss Kaoru... I will become a manslayer once again!"-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"The right to live and die, to give and take, are controlled by Lord Shishio!"-leader of the Shingotsu Villiage henchmen, Rurouni Kenshin

"Ordinarily, I'd tell you to stand back if you don't want to be injured. But in this case, I think I'll make an exception. I'm gonna beat down every last one of you!"-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"I gotta get stronger. Strong enough... so that Kenshin will regret not taking me with him to Kyoto! I am not a burden for you to bear. That's what I'm gonna prove to you in Kyoto! You just wait and see, Kenshin!"-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"I never thought... that I'd be walking down this path again."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"It seems that you're still thinking like a deluded, peace-loving Wanderer. Would you like me to open your eyes again?"-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"If I carry my sword like this as I walk, people will be scared away and leave me alone. No one else will be involved."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Makoto Shishio... another survivor of the Revolution, is calling me back to Kyoto. What battles await me down this road?"-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"The battle against Shishio has already begun."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"He's certainly confident. And I'm relatively sure it isn't simply hot air."-Saito, Rurouni Kenshin

"No good. All I'm doing is destroying the forest... this isn't doing anything for me. Which way is it to Kyoto?!"-Sanosuke, Rurouni Kenshin

"Be patient. I will defeat the Botosai, and the reputation of being the best will be the flowers I leave on your graves... I swear it."-Aoshi, Rurouni Kenshin

"If I remember correctly, you guys of the Oniwaban group never even had a chance to fight during the glorious days of the Meiji Revolution... and the frustration and disappointment must fill your heart and soul. The Revolution, and what's happening now... if you were to experience two eras of change in your life, and let both of them pass you by without taking the opportunity to fight... I guess that would be a real shame as the Leader of The Oniwaban group, huh...?"-Sojiro, Rurouni Kenshin

"Whether you hate them, or feel sorry for them, the dead can never be brought back again."-Saijiro Hiko the XIII, Rurouni Kenshin

"Being punched by someone like you wouldn't do much, even if you did connect. You're too light."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"THE MONEY BELONGS TO ME! YOU SAW ME STEAL IT FROM 'EM FAIR AND SQUARE, SO IT'S MINE, MINE, MINE!"-Misao, Rurouni Kenshin

"How she moved earlier resembled Kenpo. And that Tobi Kunai that she used before... this girl isn't an ordinary person, is she? Though you could probably tell that just by the way she dresses."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"The thieves who originally stole the money were wrong, and she was wrong for robbing those men. Let's follow that reasoning and say you're both at fault, and simply call it even."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"You're something special, even though you don't look it."-Misao, Rurouni Kenshin

"That sure was a crazy stunt."-Misao, Rurouni Kenshin

"I've had so many battles on riverbeds and bridges in the past, that I finally got sick and tired of them. I guess you could say I'm used to it. It's actually a simple matter to destroy a bridge like that one, as long as all the weight is concentrated in the center."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin

"Say, would you like me to tell a story about Lord Aoshi? You probably already know some of the stuff I could say. Like how he is just about the best there is! He's a genius spy, and he became the Leader of the Oniwaban group when he was only 15 years old. He has a stong sense of responiblity and friendship. But on the outside, he's got that cold, ruthless poker-face. I was there with him for 8 years, but I don't remember seeing him smile or laugh even once. I bet you he's exactly the same way after all this time... But I know Lord Aoshi's got a smile in there somewhere, and I'm sure gonna find it someday!"-Misao, Rurouni Kenshin

"I'm going to re-write history."-Shishio, Rurouni Kenshin

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"One hundred and forty years ago, amidst the chaos and bloodshed which accompanied the Tokugawa Rejime, there was a swordsman in Kyoto who was called Botosai the Manslayer. Botosai carved the way into the new era... the Meiji Era. It was said that he was undefeatable. And then one day, as the screams faded and the dust began to settle, Botosai mysteriously disappeared into the sunset. To this day, his whereabouts are unknown. Botosai the Manslayer had become a legend."-Kaoru Kamiya from Rurouni Kenshin

===
Yahiko: "Before you start, I have to warn you, Kaoru's cooking tastes pretty awful."
Kenshin: "Yahiko. Miss Kaoru's cooking has improved a lot. You don't have to force yourself to eat it anymore."
Sanosuke: "Hmm... It's better than dying, in any case."
*All three laugh*
===
Kaoru: "Which do you think makes less sense, a ghost or a kettle?"
Sanosuke: "A kettle!"
===
Yahiko: "Where's Sanosuke?"
Kaoru: "He's still quivering in fear somewhere."
===
Kaoru: "I've got it! Why don't we all take a photograph together?"
*Sanosuke takes a sideways step away*
Kaoru: "And where are you going?"
Sanosuke: "I'm not gonna do that. That thing'll suck out our souls!"
Kaoru: "Would you stop saying that?! I told you that was only a superstition!"
Sanosuke: "It can't be just that! I hear it takes a year off every time you take a picture! It's the tool of the devil!"
Kenshin: "Now, now. You two should stop arguing like this, that you should."
Yahiko: "This is stupid. Do you think we look good enough to take a picture?"
Sanosuke: "Well, I guess we can't do it like this."
Kaoru: "What do you mean? We look fine."
Yahiko: "We're taking one."
Sanosuke: "I don't wanna!"
Kaoru: "Come on, let's go."
===
Sanosuke's Friend 1: "Wait a sec, Tai. Are you saying you want Sano to run an errand for you?"
Sanosuke's Friend 2: "Man, there's nothing scarier than a woman who isn't afraid of anything."
Sanosuke: "Alright."
Both Friends: "Huh?"
Sanosuke: "Waht's so bad about running a few errands?"
Sanosuke's Friend 2: "Sano, are you feeling ok?"
Sanosuke: "Well, why not? I figure one good turn deserves another."
*Sanosuke turns to Tai*
Sanosuke: "Right?"
Tai: "Oh, but I've just been putting everything on your tab, it hasn't been on the house."
Sanosuke: "I didn't realize. I don't have any way to pay it back."
Tai: "I wasn't expecting right this second. There'll be a little interest when you do decide to pay it, so you go on now and take your time."
Sanosuke: "I-interest? I didn't know you could do that for tabs."
===
Sanosuke's friend: "That Sano's definitely in a class of his own."
Tai: "That's certainly true. Now we just have to get him to pay his bills."
===
(Saito's "partner" assassin): "It's insanity! There's nothing you can offer me to take on a job like that! So I think I'll high-tail it outta here to somewhere safe, like Shanghai, if you don't mind. See ya around."
Saito: "I know a place that'll be much safer to run to than Shanghai... It's called Hell, if I recall correctly."
===
Sanosuke's Friend 1: "It looks like you're outta luck today, doesn't it Sano?"
Sanosuke's Friend 2: "You've lost the last 20 tosses in a row!"
Sanosuke: "Aw, no way! I thought I was gonnna win that one for sure! I thought your sword style was all about knowing how to predict things. You couldn't even get a single one of those tosses right."
Kenshin: "They're both competitions of the sword, but predictions I make in battle are completely different. If I remember correctly, Sano, I believe you asked me help you with something important. And I do believe gambling's illegal, isn't it?"
Sanosuke: "Aw, come on Kenshin, this gambling is just between good friends, and we only use spare change anyway. And besides, these old goofballs and me go way back, so I know they're all good guys. Even if they do look like thugs."
Sanosuke's Friend 1: "Was that last comment really necessary?"
Sanosuke's Friend 2: "Well, no matter how you look at it, no one looks more like a thug than you, Sano!"
Kenshin: "That's certainly true, isn't it?"
(everyone there breaks into the laughter of male comradery)
===
Random Guard 1: "Tell us who you are."
Misao: "Hmph. I, Misao Makimachi, see no compelling reason to give my name to villains like you!"
Random Guard 2: (to the guard next to him) "Didn't she just tell us her name?"
===
Saito: "Have you said your farewells to that Kamiya girl?"
*Kenshin glares a VERY scary glare at Saito*
Saito: "Perhaps I shouldn't have asked you."
===
Saito: "It seems that you're still thinking like a deluded, peace-loving Wanderer. Would you like me to open your eyes again?"
Kenshin: "I'm ready to accept your challenge any time you'd like, Saito. But let me make it clear that I don't intend to involve anyone else in this matter. That's why I decided to do this by myself!"
===
Saito: "Do as you like."
Kenshin: "I intend to."
===
Sojiro: (clap clap clap clap) "That was simply incredible. You didn't even give the Four Akakumo Monks a chance to do their favorite move, the Younryutagi. That's real style, two kodachis."
Aoshi: "I assume you work for Shishio."
Sojiro: "That's right. I'm Sojiro Seita, and I actually serve by Master Shishio's side. Now I know what Master Shishio saw in you. I'd appreciate it if you'd at least listen to what I have to say."
Aoshi: "Get lost. I don't have any intention of ever joining another group. Especially a heartless group like yours, who would use it's own men as pawns just to test the strength of an opponent."
Sojiro: "Ooh... Oh, boy, so you figured it out. But you knew then that they were being used as pawns, and yet you still slew them without any hesitation. Isn't that... rather heartless, too?"
===
Saijiro Hiko the XIII: "He must have lost all hope, and committed suicide on the spot. Well, that's something that happens every day. I use my sword to follow the teachings of the Hiten-Mitsurugi syle. But in the end, I can't even save one person. I guess the only thing I can do is bury the corpses of the victims, at the very least."
*Saijiro Hiko arrives, then recieves a shock. He saw that all the bodies had been buried. All the graves even had markers. And, standing in the middle of the makeshift cemetery, was the little boy.*
Sajiro Hiko: "You made graves for those bandits, as well as your parents?"
Shinta: "They're slave traders, not my parents. My parents died from cholera last year. But bandit or slave trader, they're still people. And they're dead."
Saijiro Hiko: "So you made graves for them?"
*Sajiro's gaze shifts to the three stones Shinta was standing in front of, and obviously had been for some time*
Sajiro Hiko: "What are those three stones?"
Shinta: "Miss Kasumi, Miss Akane, and Miss Sakura... All three of them were sold off to pay some debts. I only know them for a day. But since I was the only boy there, and since I had no parents, I was ready to throw away my life to save them. That's why I tried to look for some good stones for them. But these were all I found. I don't even have any flowers."
*Sajiro uncorks a jug he had on him person and poured the contents over the grave stones*
Saijiro Hiko: "No one should have to leave this world without know the taste of good sake. This is my tribute to these three."
*Sajiro puts the jug back to wherever he'd been keeping it*
Sajiro Hiko: "What's your name, boy?"
Shinta: "Shinta."
Saijiro Hiko: "That's too gentle a name for a swordsman. From now on, your name will be Kenshin. I promise to give you the best training I have to offer, Kenshin."
===
Sojiro: "Master Shishio... You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Shishio: "I'm going to rewrite history, my boy. Of course I am."
===
Misao: "What, do I have bad breath or something, you illegal sword-carrying dumb red-headed long haired jerk, you cross-shaped scar-face weirdo... and you've got lousy taste in kimonos, by the way!"
Kenshin: "While I enjoy your colorful nicknames, my real name is Kenshin Himura. It might be best for you to call by that."
===
Misao: "Hey, tell me what you're thinking about."
Kenshin: "No..."
===
Sojiro: "Master Shishio? You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Shishio: "I'm going to re-write history, my boy. Of course I am."
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Manga Version Quotes:
"After so many murders, he has lost his original purpose and will, drawn only by the color and smell of blood..."-Kenshin

"In the course of history, there is no "If". But IF there had been a battle in Edo... If we had fought, the victory of the new era would have been ours."-Aoshi, Rurouni Kenshin manga Volume Four

"Ishin Shishi and Bafuku Samurai were plunged into battle without their say. We were at war... But it wasn't to decide who was right and who was wrong. It was for the country's future. We laid down our lives for the people's peace and happiness."-Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin manga Volume Four

"You tame a dog with food, you tame a man with money, but there is NOTHING that can tame the Wolf of Mibu!"-Saitou

"The dead don't desire revenge, but the happiness of the living."-Kenshin

"To dirty your small hands... ...would bring joy to no one."-Kenshin
====
Sanosuke: "If I pissed from here, it'd reach the sea in four days."
Anji: "What kind of a proverb is that?"
====
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YYH Lanipator Spoof Quotes

Quotes from Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Spoofs:
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Voice Quirks:
+Koenma's voice sounds identical to Shaggy's from Scooby Doo
+Reiko's voice sounds identical to the actual voice of Hiei in the original dub show (please remember that this guy is only in the second YYH movie, where no one I can think of has the same voice as they originally did)
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"How can you die when you're the Grim f**king Reaper?!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"My useless character senses are tingling."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Go f**k a toaster, Urameshi!"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Mummy-Cyclops mad! Mummy-Cyclops no like Chris Crocker!"- Mummy-Cyclops, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Oh, come now, just because I'm the most intelligent member of this team doesn't always mean you have to your questions towards me."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I like muffins!"-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Have you ever watched a dub of an anime, and then watched a completely different dub of the same show and thought it didn't sound right? Well, the energies of the Netherworld do that pretty much, except it also affects the person's character."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"What tastes like failure?"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Hey, gimme back my body! I need that to beat people up, like other positive role models!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Alright; fists? Check. Spirit Gun? Check. Okay, now let's raid this... hospital? Alright, whatever."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Look out, Yusuke, those guys are pushing her around and treating her like dirt. Looks like you have some competition after all."-Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"My name's Kazuma Kuwabara, and I'm the star of this episode!"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Why do I have the sudden urge to re-kill Urameshi?"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Well, I suppose I should give you some inane moral test in order to make me look like an ass, and have you prove yourselves to any following spirits of former rivals you may have. Let's see... I got it! You're not allowed to fight for an entire week. And you must make more that 50 points on our next test... which is still technically failing, but we have very low standards here."-Mr. Akashi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"And they said those child-stalking classes were a waste of money."-Mr. Akashi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Man, I really need to find something better to do with my free time. Maybe I'll take up knitting."-Mr. Akashi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Hey, Kuwabara, I copied the Answer Key for ya."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"How does it feel to be beaten up by a possessed girl?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I swear to ass, I'm gonna kick your God."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Logic and anime don't mix. You know that, Yusuke."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Good news, Suiichi. Thanks to whatever the hell I just did, your mother has recovered one hundred percent. You'll get your bill in the mail."-random doctor, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"For the last time, I'm not gay. I'm as straight as Ricky Martin's sparkling abs... Wait! I mean...!"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Man, I suck at this."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Yes. Now that I have the Artifacts of Darkness, I can use their power to get my show back!" (pause) "And murder people."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Well, at least I'll die without regrets. Oh, wait..."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Ah! My eye! My doctor told me not to get blood in it!"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bleed somewhere."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"And now, for a brief moment of hubris before killing you." (Yusuke's spirit gun blast hits Hiei from behind) "How did I not see that coming?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I'm going to kill you. But first, I'm going to take off my shirt!"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Now you are completely under my control, Hiei! How many people wish they could say that, hm? But I digress. Kill your friends!"-Reiko, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I'll be fine, once I get my dragon back."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Right. I'm confused as hell right now, so I'm just gonna go fight."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Great. I'm alone until dawn. What the hell can an all-powerful Netherworld God do to pass the time in this damn city?"-Yakumo, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Let me guess, all these sites are conveniently located in one city in Japan."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Kuwabara POW- oh, wow, that's an arm."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"So like I was telling Ted the other day, for a job where all ya really gotta do is break a few shrines, the perks are pretty sweet."-Random Pointless Demon, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I work for Spirit World... I don't have any pride!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Ahh! My body's all weak and floaty!"(a growing purple light starts at Hinageshi's feet) "Ooo... pretty." (the light starts to envelope her body) "Uh-oh! Bad touch."-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Oh, fine, let's just postpone our plans to bring back the Netherworld so you can go take a friggin' nap!"-Yakumo, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"This is why we're going to die."-Yakumo, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"As soon as I dislodge this parking break from my spine, I'm gonna kick your ass."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"You know, I must say, this has been conveniently uneventful."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Good idea. Who doesn't enjoy a good Star Wars larp."-Majari, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Alright! This must the Heart site. Time to save the world, just long as I don't get distrac- oo, bubbles."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Heh heh heh heh... That's right, I just kicked the crap out of a 12-year-old!"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"If you think I'm as stupid as Kuwabara, you're wrong! I'm a whole new kind of stupid! Waait..."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Amnesia fading!"-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Hey Kurama, check it out, I'm a blood fountain. Oh, and ruuuuun!"-Kuronue, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Nobody remembers Chin Po!"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Just tell me one thing; do your fighting skills match your rapping skills?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Oh, this guy is so f*cking dead."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Farts are funny, heh heh. Peep."-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"If you make a fart pun, I'm going to stab you in the eye with your own finger."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I'm off. I must... wander."-Chin Po, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"The Earth Site's been destroyed, and now it's leaking out Netherworld energy. If the other four sites are broken, then the Netherworld can be reformed. Can I have a pretzel?"-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I drawed a squirrel! It goes peep, peep, peep... peep."-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"You're an idiot who likes playing with his monkey."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Seriously, do you even know how to read that ma- is that a coloring book?"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"On the plus side, she stopped talking."-Yakumo, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I figured she'd either take her to Genkai's like I asked, or bury her alive somewhere. Either way, I don't have to deal with either of them."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I guess the safety of humanity can wait until morning."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"There are five Elemental Sites in the Human World that seals the Netherworld's power. And they represent Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart. It's a lot like summoning Captain Planet. Only instead of Captain Planet, it's the Netherworld, and instead of fighting pollution, it kills people."-Hinageshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"You may be fast, but I've got a gun!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Quit your damn soliloquizing. We're going."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"I dislike you with great intensity."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"That was... the worst pun... ever."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Seriously. If you wanted to die there are plenty of ways. Like jumping in front of a bus, or picking a fight with Tony Jaa."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Just saying, you demons really don't like clothes."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I couldn't resist the Star Wars reference. Oh, and your girlfriend's turning into a demon."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Oh, f*** all of you."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"And so, another crisis is averted. But how does Yusuke get his body back? Find out... sometime, on Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged."-Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Narrator
"Your overconfidence is your weakness."-Yusuke, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Keiko's psycho and really possessive. Haven't you ever wondered why no other girls talk to me?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Now all he has to do is study until he's not completely retarded."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"It's anime law. Any character who's in a series for more than five episodes is going to have a back-story."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"You're just afraid of being killed, you big baby."-Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I like my way of saying it better."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Welcome to Japan, everything's f**cked up here."-Mr. Akashi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"How the f*ck do ya think I'm doing? In the past two months, I've been hit by a car, lit on fire, and nearly killed by a friggin' Ivan Drago wanna-be."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"He sure has a lot of blood."-Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Holy sh*t. You took his head clean off."-Botan, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Or she could just be ass-retarded."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Yakumo, the Netherworld King, eventually became bored, and made war with the Spirit World."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Something usually happens when we run around randomly like this."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Kuwabara, why are you just standing there? Do something!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"When you get to Spirit World, tell Koenma I said 'f**k you!'"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Why is it everybody always stares at me when I walk through a door?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Wow! That guy has horns! I could make a real bad pun right here, but I'll choose not to."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Wow, I'm gone for three days, and Kuwabara's already getting picked on by some freak with horns. Shocker."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"They call me Yusuke. And this is called kicking your ass! That was a kick-ass one-liner. I'm gonna have to write that one down."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Welp, time for plan Get-the-f**k-out-of-here."-Thug possessed by Jihaki, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Heh heh heh... Nothing can stop me now! Aah! A pot hole! My one weakness!"-Thug possessed by Jihaki, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Well that was fun. Now where's his wallet?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"By George! It stunk in there."-Jihaki, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Here's a tip: Try not to fly in circles."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Damn it, I hate Spirit World."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Well, if they can kill your father's A team, then what the hell can I do about it? I mean, what do you expect me to do, yell at them til they give it back? I mean, I know I'm good at yelling, but-"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Well I was just thinking, that now that we all got what we want, we should go our seperate ways. Toodles."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Damn, what did I do to make him leave? Was it my breath? Did I not kill enough people?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"My poems are gold, you ass! Have you never seen my show on DTV, Demon Television?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"That's the last time I play soccer in the street..."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Oh, come on! 'Surprised To Be Dead'? Of course I'm surprised to be dead! No wonder Cartoon Network dropped this show with titles like that."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Does anyone want to explain to me why there's a giant talking rock?"-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Anyone else getting kind of a deliverance sort of vibe?"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I'm at where I'm always at... DOING YOUR F**KING DIRTY WORK!"-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Where the hell is that voice coming from? And why am I flying? Man, that's the last time I accept Kool-Aid from my art teacher."-Yusuke Urameshi, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Check it out, I'm a blood fountain."-Kuronue, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"Of course, there always has to be a conflict."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho: Poltergeist Report the Abridged Movie by Lanipator
"You know, I'd say I'm disappointed, but in order for that to be true, I'd have to be surprised."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Oh, boy. A Micheal Jackson joke. How original."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Great. Now I have retard in surround sound."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Now that's what I call flower power." (pause) "Shut up, Urameshi."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"No! No more laugh track."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"If you make one more stupid comparative joke, I'm going to kill you."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Gitrdone, motherf*cker."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"If worse comes to worse, I can kill him out of boredom."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"I don't think you were supposed to say that part out loud."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"May I please kill him now?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"It's been almost a f**king year, I think he's fine."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
"Oh god, no... No, my blood. That's supposed to be inside me."-Kuwabara, Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged by Lanipator
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"That's right, dude. Bow before Koenma."-Koenma, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"Hold on a second! This is the second time I've had to deal with a giant toddler today. Seriously, are we shooting the sequel to 'Honey, I Blew Up The Baby'?"-Yusuke, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"My name's Randoooo! Ha hah! Rando 'bout to bust a cap! I'm blinging and banging, baby!"-Rando, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"Special thanks to my main dawg Huyana, for drawing some kick-ass me!"-Rando, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"Kuwabara, that better be a Double A battery in your pocket, or we're gonna have some problems."-Yusuke, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"I'm gonna have to go with the Eric Cartman method. Eat death metal, hippie!"-Yusuke, Lanipator's Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
"Nick, you've run out of conditioner."-Kurama, Lanipator's Special Announcement
"Honestly, do you have anything to kill around here?"-Hiei, Lanipator's Special Announcement
===
George: "Master Koenma, we have a big problem!"
Koenma: "I'll say we do, dude! The power went out, and now the only TV that's working is this one! And I can't change the friggin' channel, man! I can't get anything; no topless car washing, topless volleyball, PBS... Nothing!
George: "Um, Sir... That's a window."
Koenma: "Dude, I don't care who made it, just fix it."
===
Yusuke: "Just great, now it's it's starting to rain."
(an unconcious girl with tattered clothes falls toward the roof)
Yusuke: "Huh? Alright! Now this is my kind of rai- Oh. It's just Botan. Wake up!"
Botan: "Yusuke, Spirit World is in danger. You have to find Hinageshi, and hurry, or I'll... die"
Yusuke: "That raises so many questions I don't even know where to start. One, who's Hinageshi? Two, what happened? Three, how can you die when you're the Grim f**king Reaper?! And, of course, let's not forget four, why should I give a damn?!"
===
Kuwabara: "So you really left Botan with Keiko?"
Yusuke: "Yeah. I figured she would either take her to Genkai's like I asked, or bury her alive somewhere. Either way, I don't have to deal with either of 'em."
===
Kuwabara: "Where the hell are we going, Urameshi?"
Yusuke: "I un'no, but something usually happens when we run around randomly like this."
===
Kuwabara: "My useless character senses are tingling."
Yusuke: "If they're on you, shouldn't they be going off 24/7?"
===
Kuwabara: "Name's Kazuma Kuwabara, the bad-ass with the sword."
Hinageshi: "Nice to meet you, Kuwahara."
Kuwabara: "Um, it's Kuwabara."
Hinageshi: "That's what I said, Kuwahara."
Kuwabara: "KUWABARA!"
Hinageshi: "Kuwahara!"
Kuwabara: "BARA!"
Hinageshi: "Hara!"
Kuwabara: "Dammit, my name is pronounced KUWAHARA-"
*Hinageshi blinks at him*
Kuwahara: "I don't like you."
===
Kuwabara: "You're kidding me! You mean Botan actually made it all the way here with Keiko?!"
Genkai: "Yeah, I found the stupid bitch trying to bury her in my forest."
===
Kuwabara: "What's the Netherworld?"
Kurama: "Oh, come now, just because I'm the most intelligent member of this team doesn't always mean you have to your questions towards me. Why don't you ask Genkai, right Genkai?"
Genkai: "Go f**k yourself."
Kurama: "Sigh."
Hinageshi: "Oo! I can do it, let me tell em!"
Kurama: "Very well then, much appreciated."
Hinageshi: "Ok, so... um. This one time, there was this guy, and he was all like, evil and mean and stuff, and he was all like, gurr, I'm the king of the Nethar Wurld, gerr I hate Sprit World and he was all like gonna take over the SPirut werld, but then king Enmuh was all like-"
Kurama: "Nevermind, I'll do it. Anyway, the Netherworld once co-existed alongside the Human World, Demon World, and Spirit World thousands of years ago."
Yusuke: "Bet that takes you back, doesn't it, grandma? ARHH!"
Genkai: "Continue."
Kurama: "Yakumo, the Netherworld King, eventually became bored, and made war with the Spirit World in an effort to corrupt it. But King Enma managed to banish the evil king, and seal away the power of the Netherworld."
===
Yusuke: "You keep saying 'corrupt.' What do you mean?"
Kurama: "Have you ever watched a dub of an anime, and then watched a completely different dub of the same show and thought it didn't sound right? Well, the energies of the Netherworld do that pretty much, except it also affects the person's character."
Kuwabara: "Well, I guess that explains what's wrong with Hinageshi then, doesn't it?"
Hinageshi: "I like muffins!"
Kurama: "Or she could just be ass-retarded."
===
(screen shows Yusuke's point-blank Spirit Gun/Fingerbang shot to Goki's head)
Botan: "Holy sh*t. You took his head clean off."
Yusuke: "I'd call it an improvement."
Botan: "He sure has a lot of blood."
(gushing sound)
Yusuke: "Not anymore."
===
Koenma: "Let's see how my new Spirit Detective's doin'."
Yusuke: "Aah, I can't feel my legs."
Koenma: "Dammit."
===
Botan: "Well, Yusuke, how are you doing?"
Yusuke: "How the f*ck do ya think I'm doing? In the past two months, I've been hit by a car, lit on fire, and nearly killed by a friggin' Ivan Drago wanna-be."
===
Yusuke: "This Spirit Detective job sucks. I mean, seriously, what am I getting out of this anyway?"
Botan: "Your own gratification that you made the world safe from demons."
Yusuke: "Dammit."
===
Kuwabara: "You can't do that! It's un-American!"
Mr. Akashi: "Welcome to Japan, everything's f**cked up here."
===
Kurama: "Don't worry. I haven't come here to fight. I rather dislike violence."
Yusuke: "Thank f*cking god."
===
Botan: "Yusuke! Why would you give him three days?"
Yusuke: "I don't know. I guess I trust him, I guess."
Botan: "No you don't. You're just afraid of being killed, you big baby."
Yusuke: "I like my way of saying it better."
===
Yusuke: "So what exactly are we doing here?"
Kurama: "This is the hospital where my human mother, Shiori, is staying."
Yusuke: "Human mother? I thought you were a demon."
Kurama: "I am. And yet, I'm not."
Yusuke: "Aw, crap. Here comes the back-story."
Kurama: "Sorry, Yusuke, it's anime law. Any character who's in a series for more than five episodes is going to have a back-story. Anyway, before I came to Human World, I was known as Yoko, the spirit fox. Unfortunately, during a Naruto cosplay gone horribly wrong, I was mortally wounded and forced to take refuge in the Human World. I took up the guise of Suiichi Minamino, and waited for my energy to recover so I could return to Demon World. But then something happened. My Mother became deathly ill."
Yusuke: "What does she have?"
Kurama: "Piccoloitis."
Yusuke: "Huh?"
Kurama: "It's a very rare ailment that causes normally evil people to change their ways, and care about something weaker than them."
===
Kuwabara: "Well guys, I'm gonna go home and study from tomorrow's test. I'm gonna take this way back to save time. See ya."
The Kuwabara cronie with actual hair: "Uh, Kuwabara, doesn't that path lead right past those guys we just beat up?"
Kuwabara: "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure they've forgotten by now."
Yusuke: "Wow. Is he really that stupid?"
Botan: "Yep."
===
Yusuke: "Well, at least now all he has to do is study until he's not completely retarded."
Kuwabara: (viewing a shelf of books) "What the hell are these things?"
Yusuke: "He's doomed."
===
Botan: "It seems they're gonna let Kurama off with just a warning."
Yusuke: "What do you mean, 'a warning'? Why would they do that?"
Botan: "Well he didn't really do any harm, and he did give the mirror back."
Yusuke: "Well, I guess that makes sense. Aside from the fact that he broke into the Spirit World vault, killed who-knows how many guards, and provided two powerful items to two powerful demons who don't intend to give them back."
===
Yusuke: "You Spirit World people really piss me off. I mean, I almost got killed trying to get that ball back from that ogre-"
Botan: "Goki."
Yusuke: "And who knows what that other guy-"
Botan: "Hiei."
Yusuke: "I don't care what their names are!"
===
Yusuke: "Don't you get it? Keiko's psycho and really possessive. Haven't you ever wondered why no other girls talk to me?"
Botan: "You're kidding... right?"
===
Yusuke: "Wait, you're Hiei? You're like four foot nothin'."
Botan: "With his hair."
Hiei: "Hrrr... Haven't you ever heard the expression "size doesn't matter"?
Yusuke: "Well, that's just what girls say to their boyfriends who have really small-"
Botan: "Yusuke!"
Yusuke: "What? It's true."
===
Hiei: "Can't you see how outmatched you are?"
Yusuke: "Your overconfidence is your weakness."
Hiei: "And your faith in your friends is yours."
Yusuke: "What the hell are you talking about? I'm the only fighter here."
Hiei: "I know, but I couldn't resist the Star Wars reference. Oh, and your girlfriend's turning into a demon."
===
Hiei: "Fine, you cocky bastard, maybe it's time I showed you my full power."
(Hiei throws away his cloak as an attempt at dramatic effect)
Yusuke: "Why do you have to take off your shirt?"
Hiei: "Why not?"
Yusuke: "Just saying, you demons really don't like clothes."
===
(Kurama takes sword thrust meant for Yusuke in his stomach)
Kurama: "Ow."
Yusuke: "Kurama, what the hell are you doing?"
Hiei: "Seriously. If you wanted to die there are plenty of ways. Like jumping in front of a bus, or picking a fight with Tony Jaa."
===
Yusuke: "I guess that's what they call eye-rony."
Hiei: "That was... the worst pun... ever."
===
Yusuke: "So how ya doin' Kurama?"
Kurama: "I really need to go to the hospital. I'm losing a lot of blood."
Yusuke: "That's right, hang in there, Champ."
Kurama: "I dislike you with great intensity."
===
Kuwabara: "Why'd it get so foggy all of a sudden?"
Kurama: "I believe I know why."
Hinageshi: "Oo! Is it pirates?"
Kurama: "No."
Hinageshi: "Aliens?"
Kurama: "No."
Hinageshi: "Kuronue?"
Kurama: "Nc- wait, what?"
===
False Kuronue: "It's time we finished what we started by that shrine."
Kurama: "You know, we could have finished it right then and there, if you hadn't run away."
False Kuronue: "Silence, Kurama. That was a tactical retreat."
Kurama: "How was that tactical? I was on my knees, and you could have plowed that steel into my face and finished it then."
Kuwabara: "Wait, what are they talking about?"
===
Kurama: "Kuronue, I never properly thanked you for your sacrifice. And it's at this time that I'd-"
Hiei: "Quit your damn soliloquizing. We're going."
Kurama: "Hiei... f*** off."
Hiei: "Whatever. But you better hurry up. Wins a fight, thinks he's invincible..."
Kurama: "Anyway, Kuronue, I-"
Yusuke: "Kurama! Hurry up!"
Kurama: "Oh, f*** all of you."
===
Kurama: "Oh, there you are, Hiei. Are you alright?"
Hiei: "I'll be fine, once I get my dragon back."
(Darkness Dragon comes home to Hiei's left arm)
Hiei: "Nope, didn't help."
(Hiei drops like a stone)
Yusuke: "Hiei!"
Kuwabara: "Is he gonna be ok?"
Kurama: "Say something, Hiei!"
Hinageshi: "Peep."
Hiei: "Say that again, and I'll f***ing murder you!"
Yusuke: "Yep, he's fine. Let's keep moving."
===
Kurama: "Are you sure it's wise to hold him like that?"
Kuwabara: "Ah, he's out cold. Waz he gonna care?"
Hiei: "I am not! Put me down or I'll kill you!"
Kuwabara: "Oh, come on, Hiei, you're dead on your feet. Besides, it's not like I'm gonna drop you."
Hiei: "Yeah, like I trust you after what happened earlier!"
Kuwabara: "Oh, how was I supposed to know you were up there? Seriously, who stands on the top of a tree?"
Hiei: "Who punches down a tree?"
(long sigh from Kurama)
===
Yusuke: "You may be fast, but I've got a gun!"
Yakumo: "That's nice."
===
Genkai: "If they already took down Spirit World, why did they come here?"
Hinageshi: "Five Elemental Sites!"
Genkai: "I beg your pardon?"
Hinageshi: "There are five Elemental Sites in the Human World that seals the Netherworld's power. And they represent Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Heart. It's a lot like summoning Captain Planet. Only instead of Captain Planet, it's the Netherworld, and instead of fighting pollution, it kills people."
===
Kurama: "I'm impressed, Hinageshi. That was actually quite clever."
Hinageshi: "Thanks, Kurama-ama-nama!"
Kurama: "And that put an end to that."
===
Kurama: "Hiei, have you been drinking again?"
Hiei: "No!"
(semi-long pause)
Hiei: "Alright, a little. Shut up!"
===
Yusuke: "Alright, so all we have to do is get to the Elemental Sites before the bad guys and we'll be just fine. So let's get goin'."
Kuwabara: "But it's dark out!"
Yusuke: "Fine. I guess the safety of humanity can wait until morning."
===
Kuwabara: "So you really left Botan with Keiko?"
Yusuke: "Yeah. I figured she'd either take her to Genkai's like I asked, or bury her alive somewhere. Either way, I don't have to deal with either of them."
===
Yakumo: "Yes... This place is perfect for ressurrecting the Netherworld. All we have to do is destroy the Elemental Sites and take back what was stolen from us. We can be Gods once again by dawn!"
Majari: "But I'm tired!"
Yakumo: "Oh, fine, let's just postpone our plans to bring back the Netherworld so you can go take a friggin' nap!"
Majari: "Thanks, Boss."
(his three minions leave)
Yakumo: "Wait, I was being sarca-"
(Yakumo sighs)
Yakumo: "This is why we're going to die."
===
Yusuke: "Okay, Hinageshi, we've been running around this city for THREE HOURS now! Do you have any idea where we're going?"
Kuwabara: "Seriously, do you even know how to read that ma- is that a coloring book?"
Hinageshi: "I drawed a squirrel! It goes peep, peep, peep... peep."
===
Hinageshi: "I drawed a squirrel! It goes peep, peep, peep... peep. Earth Site go boom."
Yusuke: "What?"
Hinageshi: "Peep."
(a big purple explosion occurs)
Yusuke: "Oh, come on! What the hell is that?"
Hinageshi: "The Earth Site's been destroyed, and now it's leaking out Netherworld energy. If the other four sites are broken, then the Netherworld can be reformed. Can I have a pretzel?"
Yusuke: "No. Not before we save the world."
Hinageshi: "But I want a pretzel."
Kurama: "Later. For now, we have to split up. Yusuke, you head for the Fire Site. Kuwabara, you take care of Heart. As for me, I'll deal with Water."
Kuwabara: "Hey! Why am I stuck with Heart?"
Yusuke: "'Cause you're an idiot who likes playing with his monkey."
Kuwabara: "Fair enough."
===
Hinageshi: "Can I have a pretzel?"
Yusuke: "No. Not before we save the world."
Hinageshi: "But I want a pretzel."
Kurama: "Later."
===
Hinageshi: "Ahh! My body's all weak and floaty!"
(a growing purple light starts at Hinageshi's feet)
Hinageshi: "Ooo... pretty."
(the light starts to envelope her body)
Hinageshi: "Uh-oh! Bad touch. Eeeie!"
Yakumo: "On the plus side, she stopped talking. However, this girl is of no use to me."
Yusuke: "Bravo, genius. I figured that out twenty-four hours ago."
===
Yakumo: "So this worthless trash is with you then. Here, you can have her back."
Yusuke: "Nno, that's ok, I really don't-"
(Yakumo throws Hinageshi at Yusuke, straight out of her levitating state... Yusuke catches.)
Hinageshi: "Hi, Yusa-kay!"
===
Yakumo: "I'm sorry, did that hurt your pride?"
Yusuke: "If you must know, I work for Spirit World... I don't have any pride!"
===
Kurama: "Hello, Hiei. What are you doing here?"
Hiei: "Not going to your stupid party for stupid people, if that's what your asking!"
Kurama: "Hiei, have you been drinking again?"
Hiei: "No!"
(brief pause)
Hiei: "Alright, a little."
(another brief pause)
Hiei: "Shut up!"
===
Yusuke: "Just take me to the damn site!"
Hinageshi: "Hey, look, a doggie!"
Yusuke: "Focus."
Hinageshi: "Up there.''
(scene change to their new location, the afore-mentioned "Up there")
Yusuke: "Well, where is it?"
Hinageshi: "It's inside the 'sploding building."
Yusuke: "What exploding buildi-"
*suddenly the multi-level parking garage in front of them crashes apart*
Yusuke: "How do you do that?"
Hinageshi: "Do what?"
Yusuke: "Nevermind."
===
Chin Po: "Excuse me, is this the way to the mall? You see, I had this coupon for twenty-five cents off wandering shoes, and I was wondering if-"
Yusuke: "No."
Chin Po: "Very well then. I'm off. I must... wander."
===
Kurama: "You know, I must say, this has been conveniently uneventful."
Will-be False Kuronue: "I have taken your past."
Kurama: "Of course, there always has to be a conflict."
===
Kurama: "Who is it?"
Kuronue: "I'm insulted, Kurama. You mean you really don't remember your old partner?"
Kurama: "Youmi, I swear I di- oh, it's you. Hi Kuronue."
===
Kurama: "That's Byakko, the White Tiger, as powerful as he is vicious."
Yusuke: "Well, since you're still injured, looks like this guys up to us."
Kurama: "Indeed. Now, Byakko relies mainly on power, so I believe Hiei's superior speed would be the best choice for this fight."
Hiei: "Well, Kurama, your plan sounds good, except for one fatal flaw."
Kurama: "What? What are you talking about? My plan is fool-proof."
Kuwabara: "Heh heh. Here, kitty kitty!"
Kurama: "I stand corrected."
===
Kuwabara: "Actually, that reminds me; when exactly did the fifth site break? Hiei, did you break wi-"
Hiei: "If you make a fart pun, I'm going to stab you in the eye with your own finger."
Hinageshi: "Farts are funny, heh heh. Peep."
===
Hinageshi: "Peep."
Hiei: "And why the hell are we stuck with her?"
Kuwabara: "Well, Urameshi got stuck with her yesterday, so he just threw her at me and ran out to Genkai's place."
Hiei: "Lucky bastard."
===
Kuwabara: "Speaking of that energy, what the hell is going on? Why isn't the whole city freaking out?"
Kurama: "Isn't it obvious?"
Neighborhood Watch Commitee van's loudspeaker: "Attention everyone! This is the Neighborhood Watch Commitee, reminding everyone to ignore the ominious purple obelisk in the middle of the city. Thank you, and have a pleasant day. Yes, we're that damn good."
===
Yusuke: "Just tell me one thing; do your fighting skills match your rapping skills?"
Rando: "Hell yeah!"
Yusuke: "Oh, thank God."
===
Hiei: "Nin'ty-nine bottles of beer on the wall-" *drunken hiccup* "ninety-nine bottles o' beer-"
Kurama: "Hiei, what the hell are you doing?"
Hiei: "What does it look like I'm doing?"
Kurama: "Hiei, shouldn't drink so much."
Hiei: "I'll get as want as I drunk a' be. You wouldn't understand, you didn't lose your show."
Kurama: "Well, rather than being such a whiny little bitch about it, why don't you just come up with a plan to get it back?"
Hiei: "You're right. And I have a plan so good I could puke!"
*puking noise is heard*
Kurama: "Indeed."
===
Kurama: "Amnesia fading!"
*sudden flashback to the real Kuronue's death*
Kuronue: "Hey Kurama, check it out, I'm a blood fountain. Oh, and ruuuuun!"
*flashforward to current scene*
Kurama: "Oh, this guy is so f*cking dead."
False Kuronue: "Die, Kurama!"
*Kurama runs the poser through with a bamboo blade*
===
Genkai: "Final match, Shaoran versus Yu-"
*Yusuke punches Shaoran*
Genkai: "-suke. Whatever, begin. I don't even care anymore."
===
Genkai: "I think I've seen this technique before."
Botan: "You mean, like, Shaoran might have stolen that technique from some psychic?"
Genkai: "No, that's not it. I'm just saying he's throwing fireballs. It's a very cliché anime technique."
===
Yusuke: "Man, why is it everybody always stares at me when I walk through a door? Oh, well. At least I got these glasses on, so nobody will know who I am."
Random nearby punk: "Hey, isn't that that dead kid, what's-his-name?"
Random nearby punk next to the first punk: "You mean Yusuke Urameshi?"
Yusuke: "Yep, I'm a master of disguise."
===
Botan: "It is as I thought."
Yusuke: "Huh? The weird Klan lady?"
Botan: "I'm supposed to be a fortune teller, you ass!"
Yusuke: "Right. Whatever you say, Adolph."
===
Goki: "I'm crushing your head."
Kurama: "Aww, isn't that cute? Goki made a friend."
Hiei: "Yes. I, too, remember when I killed my first friend. Come along, Goki. Put that thing down. Good boy. Now let's go, before they find out we're here."
Kurama: "Yes, I'm sure that alarm's for some other intruder."
Hiei: "Shut up, Kurama."
===
Yusuke: "Argh. Dammit, school's so boring! Makes me almost wish that stupid hippie was here!"
Koenma: "Like, dude! I need your help!"
Yusuke: "I said 'almost'."
===
Kurama: "I enjoy abusing my power as much the next guy, but that seemed pointless."
Hiei: "Your point?"
===
Yusuke: "Think we should help?"
Hiei: "No!"
===
Kuwabara: "Well, what do you guys think? It's a little move I like to call my spirit-sword-monster-beast-doughnut."
Yusuke: "How often could you possibly have a use for that technique?"
Kuwabara: "More than you, you son-of-a-bitch."
===
Yusuke: "That's the last time I play soccer in the street... What the hell?!"
Narrator: "And so, we meet Yusuke Urameshi, the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."
Yusuke: "Where the hell is that voice coming from? And why am I flying? Man, that's the last time I accept Kool-Aid from my art teacher."
Narrator: "Shut up! I'm trying to talk here!"
Yusuke: "No, you shut up! I'm on the worst acid trip of my life, and your stupid talking isn't helping!"
===
Paramedic #1: "Alright, people, get out of the way! Train dextrist comin' through."
(the paramedic checks out Yusuke's body)
Paramedic #1: "Let's see here... he's dead. Next?"
Paramedic #2: "Don't worry, sir, this one's fine."
The little boy who's ball Yusuke was stealing (or, if you go by the original show's version, the boy Yusuke saved from being run over by a car): "I bent my woggie!"
Paramedic #1: "Huh? Oh well, my job's done then."
Yusuke: "Huh..."
Paramedic #1: "Well, tag 'im and bag him. It's almost Happy Hour!"
Paramedic #2: "Alright... Booze!"
===
Yusuke: "Hey, Hiei. You ok down there?"
Hiei: "I'm fine. Leave me alone."
Kurama: "Are you sure? We could easily rock off you."
Hiei: "I said I'm fine! Go away!"
(strained grunting noise are heard from Hiei beneath the giant boulder the fell on him)
Hiei: "Ok, get it off me."
===
Kurama: "Anyone else here laughter just now?"
Hiei: "No!"
===
Botan: "Where you at, dawg?"
Yusuke: "What are you talking about? I'm at where I'm always at... DOING YOUR F**KING DIRTY WORK!"
===
(Botan and Yusuke are talking through compact communicators)
Botan: "How far have you gotten?"
Yusuke: "Aughh, don't even ask. We've barely made it past the front door."
Botan: "Oh, you mean the Gate of Betrayal? Yeahah, that one is pretty bad."
Yusuke: "Wait, you have information on this place?"
Botan: "Yeeap."
Yusuke: "Well, why don't you help us out a bit then? Where the hell are we going?"
Botan: "Sorry, no time. Gotta go, Yusuke!"
Yusuke: "You know what Botan, you can suck my c-"
(Botan hangs up.)
Botan: "'Scuse me."
(The screen swings back to the demon city castle...)
Kurama: "I take it that didn't yield many positive results."
Yusuke: "Ya know, you think you'd get used to it after a while, but... you really don't."
===
Kuwabara: "So, uh... what are we supposed to do now?"
Genbu: "Why don't y'all step through that door, and we'll have some fun."
(Kuwabara and Yusuke open the afore-mentioned door)
Yusuke: "Anyone else getting kind of a deliverance sort of vibe?"
Genbu: "Shut up and get your ass over here."
Kuwabara: "I am now."
Hiei: "Just shut up and move."
Genbu: "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. We don't take too kindly to your kind around here, humans."
Yusuke: "Then why the hell did you invite us in further, rather than lead us into another trap?"
(pause)
Genbu: "Shut up."
===
Kuwabara: "Does anyone want to explain to me why there's a giant talking rock?"
Hiei: "His name is Genbu, and he's possibly the only thing in this castle that's dumber than you."
===
Genbu: "Well, looks like we got ourselves a taker. Ok, I guess it's time we... Gitrdone."
(the sound of pre-recorded laughter is heard)
Hiei: "What is with that laughter? Who in their right mind would think that's funny?"
(Yusuke and Kuwabara start laughing hysterically.)
Yusuke: "He said "gitrdone!""
Kuwabara: "I think I just pissed my pants."
Kurama: "You know, I'd say I'm disappointed, but in order for that to be true, I'd have to be surprised."
===
Hiei: "Oh, boy. A Micheal Jackson joke. How original."
Yusuke: "Guess that's why he's paid the big bucks."
===
Kuwabara: "Um, are you guys sure that the fluffy red-haired guy can handle this?"
Hiei: "You fool. Do you have any idea why I brought Kurama with me? Kurama's a ruthless fighter, and he's even more cut-throat than I. I doubt that thing will even touch him."
(Genbu gets a hit off on Kurama with a specialty surprise attack)
Kurama: "Ow!"
Hiei: "Oh, son of a whore!"
===
Hiei: "Don't worry. Kurama has a plan. I can see it from the look on his face."
(Kurama holds up a splendid red rose)
Hiei: "Oh, god... dammit."
===
Yusuke: "Um, Kurama isn't moving. Are you sure he's as good a fighter as you said?"
Hiei: "Honestly... I'm not quite sure anymore."
===
Hiei: "If Kurama's laughing at that thing, then he's in more trouble than we thought."
Kurama: "No. Actually, far from it."
Genbu: "That's a lotta talk, comin' from a city-slickin'- wait a minute, this ain't right! I'm all discombobulmalated!"
Kurama: "To put it lightly, yes, yes, you are."
Genbu: "What'tch you do to me?"
Kurama: "I simply removed this. It must be the equivalent of the hypothalamus section of your brain. It manipulates all of the necessary faculties and duties-"
Kuwabara (Kurama is still talking as Kuwabara says this): "Heh heh. Doodie."
Kurama: "-of your body. In this case, the process of putting you back together."
Genbu: "Gitrdone."
(the sound of pre-recorded laughter is heard)
Hiei: "No! No more laugh track."
Genbu: "Well... this sucks more than a-"
Kurama: "If you make one more stupid comparative joke, I'm going to kill you."
(screen pauses there on Kurama. Next it goes to Genbu, pausing there. The screen returns to Kurama, then pauses on him again.)
Genbu: "Twenty dollar whore with no gag reflex."
(Kurama lashes his Rose Whip and splits the hypothalamus-like rock in two)
Genbu: "I regret everything!"
Kurama: "Gitrdone, motherf*cker."
===
Yusuke: "See? We went the whole episode without making a dickhead joke."
Kurama: "Yes, providing as much highbrow entertainment as possible is our duty."
Kuwabara: "Heih... He said "doodie" again."
Hiei: "May I please kill him now?"
===
Kuwabara: "So, this is the place, huh? Heh heh... Echo! He he."
Hiei: "If worse comes to worse, I can kill him out of boredom."
Kurama: "I don't think you were supposed to say that part out loud."
Yusuke: "Can we just keep moving? I wanna get this over with."
===
Koenma: "Dude! What the hell just happened?!"
Blue Ogre (George): "What are you talking about, Sir?"
Koenma: "The room just changed friggin' colors, man!"
Blue Ogre (George): "Um... Sir? What are you on?"
Koenma: "I don't even know anymore, dude."
===
Yusuke: "Hey, Kurama, how's that wound treating you?"
Kurama: "Well, I-"
Hiei: "It's been almost a f**king year, I think he's fine."
===
Neighborhood Watch Committee: "Number 4: Lanipator's Burden by Ichi-Tori."

Hiei: "Hmph. Burden... Try dealing with these humans."
Kuwabara: "Shut up, you little runt, and get off my back!"
Yusuke: "Kuwabara, that better be a Double A battery in your pocket, or we're gonna have some problems."
Kuwabara: "Shut up, Urameshi!"
Kurama: "Actually, I believe we do have a problem."
Lanipator: "Damn you, Ichi-Tori!"
(falling sound)
Botan: "Ha ha. Lanipwned."
===
Yusuke: "And here I thought Spirit World couldn't get any worse..."
Koenma: "Aw, c'mon Yusuke, dude. You just gotta go with it, man. Flow with the groove, dude! Find some inner peace and love..."
Yusuke: "No. You know what, I'm gonna have to go with the Eric Cartman method. Eat death metal, hippie!"
(starts playing heavy metal rock music in the background)
Yusuke: "Why isn't this working?!"
Koenma: "Pretty simple, dude. I've built up an immunity."
===
===
===


=+========+=
__________FanArt Special Quotes by fans- NOT quotes by Lanipator:__________
"Attention everyone! This is the Neighborhood Watch Committee, here to remind you that if you want a successful anime series, you must air a sh*tload of filler episodes with bad plots and cheap character development. That is all!"-nickelshotnight from YouTube - this quote came from a picture where 'Committee' was originally misspelled as 'Commitee' and had 'bad plot' instead of the proper 'bad plots'
"A bad carnival prize, eh? Who's the baby hippie now, bitch?!"-jazmine from YouTube - the "eh?" was changed to "huh?" when Lanipator spoke it as Koenma in the Yu Yu Hakusho Abridged Fan Art Special
==Lunaria from YouTube==
Yusuke: "So Kurama, you seem to be the smart one in this group. You tell me why Spirit World makes no %*@~ing sense!"
Kurama: "Yusuke, I'm a 1000 year old Kitsune and even I don't understand Spirit World. Go ask google.com."
====