"It was either an interesting musical metaphor for sex, or the most disturbing way you can spend time with your chicken sandwich."-Lelouch
"Hello? Holy... kidnapping!"-Lelouch
"Listen, innuendos take way too long to explain, and this is an abridge series; so we're just gonna have to be hard and blunt about everything."-Jeremiah
"You'd figure being kidnapped by Batman would be more exiting."-Lelouch
"So this is what Hannibal Lector would look like if he was an anime girl."-Lelouch
"No, I just like killing my own men."-Suzaku's Unit Commander
"You know, even the worst abridges have more than one frickin' song!"-Lelouch
"Time for you to die, so I can go back to my lunch break."-Suzaku's Unit Commander
"Oh, right, I forgot. Everyone's a virgin here, aren't they?"-Suzaku's Unit Commander
"No worries. I'll just kill him, since he's standing right there... Alright, seriously, do I need to wait in line to kill this guy?"-Suzaku's Unit Commander
"You get special powers... after all, this is anime."-C2
"You know, the sad part is, that gave more information to me than the actual anime."-Lelouch
"Alright, you know what? Screw you, screw this show, and screw your stupid music!"-Lelouch
Unnamed Terrorist Driver: "I'm... re-enacting my favorite scene from Batman Begins."
Kallen: "Oo, does Batman crash into a building too?"
Unnamed Terrorist Driver: "An... Asian Batman would."
Jeremiah: "Alright boys, playtime is over. It's time to make them stroke my penis!"
Unit Grunt: "Uh, sir? Don't you mean you 'ego'?"
Jeremiah: "Listen, innuendos take way too long to explain, and this is an abridge series; so we're just gonna have to be hard and blunt about everything."
(same) Unit Grunt: "Uh, sir-"
Jeremiah: "That wasn't an innuendo!"
Suzaku's Unit Commander: "Alright, what point of "holding the the girl down" don't you understand?"
Random Unit Soldier: "Sorry, Sir, it's just that we're anime male characters."
Suzaku's Unit Commander: "Oh, right, I forgot. Everyone's a virgin here, aren't they?"
Lelouch: "Ummm... What's going on here?"
C2: "You get special powers... after all, this is anime."
Lelouch: "With robots?"
C2: "Whatever pulls in the ratings."