"I'm Lacus. Pop singer, supermodel, you name it."-Lacus Clyne from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"Why am I such a lesbian?"-Murrue Ramius from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"No, Issac, I don't wanna play with your Wii."-Dearka Elsman from Gundam SEED Abridged Trailor!- on Lightlover8's account
"Wake up, or else I'll make you a grunt!"-Writer
"That's it. I'm buying them headphones next time."-Raww La Cruse
"There seems to be a lot of dying over there."-Natarle
"Do you always chase blonds down dark alleys?"-Cagalli
"Yeah, that's... definitally the opposite of what I said."-Kira
"A new ship? So what? It's nothing more than a big target." *as in ANY abridged series, he turns out to be completely wrong* "Mental note: Apparently I can't hit ships. But surely I can hit a stationary gundam!"-Raww La Cruse
"Wow... We're really getting screwed on air time, aren't we?"-Neuman
"Since when do lackeys have air time?"-Natarle
"Lieutenant Ramius? We're glad that you're alive!"-Natarle
"My name is Lieutenant Mwu La Flagga, and my motto is making the impossible possible."-Mwu
"If my stereotypes are correct, then you must be the main character."-Mwu
"You're gonna die like the rest of them... I mean, victorious. We're gonna be victorious!"-Raww La Cruse
"Even though we have four perfectly working Gundams, we're gonna play it smart and fight with JINNs."-Raww La Cruse
"Just avoid anyone with a bigger sword than you."-Raww La Cruse
"Oh, great time to apply logic."-Kira
"Oh, I don't know, maybe they're here for some chips and porn... No! They're gonna kill us!"-Mwu
"Are you trying to shoot down a mobile suit with ship lasers? Has that ever worked?"-Murrue
"Dammit, why can't I hit anything?!"-Miguel
"Huh. Is that Athrun? Flashback says yes."-Kira
"He wanted to... abridge... an abridge? Man, what's the world coming to?"-Kira
"Does no one realize bad things happen every time she talks?"-(chubby minor char. crewman)
"We have to wait until we can confirm your identity, Mwu La Flagga."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"Well... the title of the episode is called 'Vanishing Gundam', so I'm guessing it has something to do with that."-Dearka
"Man, this is, like, such a lame episode."-Izeak
I'm tired of being the one-episode-filler guys."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"So, with that logic, you think the Archangel is run by the Powerpuff Girls."-Kira
"Wait, you think I'm too young? But you thought the girl was the pilot... Boy, you're ten kinds of stupid, aren't you?"-Kira
"Well. I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, but, ok."-Artemis's lead filler villain
"What is with males and dead things?"-Murrue
"My, all you people have normal colored hair. This isn't a ZAFT ship."-Lacus
"So, do you have any idea why you were in the box?"-Mwu
"Hahhh... Insert randomly stupid Haro quote... Haro."-Haro
"Aw God, not black-and-white again. Come on, the last time this happened, a guy with a knife came at me."-Kira
"I'll peirce your heavens with my drill!"-Kira
"What the
"Lacus, why do I think you signed my death warrant?"-Athrun
"Well, it's certainly been a while since I last piloted. And what better way than to start with a massacre?"-Raww La Cruse
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===
Writer: "Hello, and thank you for watching Gundam Abridged. Today on the first episode, we will- what the...? Kira. Kira, we're on. Wake up!"
Kira: "Nah-nuh... Five more minutes."
Writer: "Wake up, or else I'll make you a grunt!"
Kira: "Alright, alright, I'm up!"
===
Athrun: "Kira... can you make a promise to me?"
Kira: "Sure, Athrun. What is it?"
Athrun: "Promise me you won't join the Earth Federation, kidnap girls, don't fight me to the death in some mega-battle royale."
Kira: "Uhh..."
===
Cagalli: "Do you always chase blonds down dark alleys?"
Kira: "Uhh... is that a trick question?"
Cagalli: "How is that a trick question?"
===
Izeak: "Dude, like, check it out. There's all these buttons and knobs, man. I wonder what they do?"
Dearka: "Oh, I guess the standard... like moving, and shooting. Seriously, did you expect some sort of easy button that said "Hey! A massacre! PUSH!" Why, back in basic training, we had to do this blindfolded with-"
Izeak: "Huh huh huh... Found it."
Dearka: "Then again, I forgot the Federation are pretty much idiots in the first place."
===
Cagalli: "Oh, good. We finally found a shelter."
Kira: "Of course. I have a good sense of direction."
Cagalli: "Actually, it took us this long because of your direction."
===
Neuman: "Wow... We're really getting screwed on air time, aren't we?"
Natarle: "Since when do lackeys have air time?"
===
Mwu: "By the way, my name is Lieutenant Mwu La Flagga, and my motto is making the impossible possible."
Kira: "Wow. Who came up with that?"
Mwu: "Someone who's seen one too many Tom Cruise movies... as you can tell by the first episode."
Writer: "I do not!"
Murre: "What was that?"
Writer: "Uhh, nothing."
===
Kira: "Uh... yes, can I help you?"
Mwu: "If my stereotypes are correct, then you must be the main character."
Kira: "That's correct, but... how?"
Mwu: "A young boy, in a mobile suit, winning his first battle, in an unorthodox way? What else could you be?"
Natarle: "Wouldn't a ZAFT spy make more sense?"
Mwu: "Wow, who hired her?"
===
Raww: "Alright, so I had some set-backs when dealing with that mobile suit, but we're going to be prepared for Round 2! Even though we have four perfectly working Gundams, we're gonna play it smart and fight with JINNs."
Miguel: "Uhhh, I'm gonna have ta take a rain check on that."
Raww: "Your check's been bounced. You're gonna die like the rest of them... I mean, victorious. We're gonna be victorious!"
===
Miguel: "Uhhh, I'm gonna have ta take a rain check on that."
Raww: "Your check's been bounced."
===
Murrue: "Kira, I know this must be a difficult request, but... we need you to pilot the Gundam for us."
Kira: "Alright. Where do I launch?"
Murrue: "I know this must go against your ideals and- wait, what? Can you... repeat that?"
Kira: "I'm a Japanese boy. What did you think I was gonna say?"
===
Kira: "Why is there a gigantic sword, anyway?"
Writer: "That's a sword specifically designed to fight ships."
Kira: "Doesn't the beam cannon accomplish the exact same thing, only... better? Why don't you just give me a beam pistol instead of boomerangs, like Exca from Gundam double O?" (pronunciation for Gundam 00)
Writer: "Because that show didn't exactly exist yet."
Kira: "Oh, great time to apply logic."
===
Mwu: "It looks like ZAFT reinforcements. Get ready!"
Natarle: "Oo! I wonder what they're here for?"
Mwu: "Oh, I don't know, maybe they're here for some chips and porn... No! They're gonna kill us!"
===
Mwu: "Ahh, screw this. Gimme control of the ship cannons."
Murrue: "Are you trying to shoot down a mobile suit with ship lasers? Has that ever worked?"
Mwu: "Hey, I can make the impossible possible."
Murrue: "That's definitely the biggest load of bull-"
*and then the ship laser destroys the JINN*
Mwu: "Wow. That actually worked."
Natarle: "Uhh... the colony's starting to fall apart."
Mwu: "Who cares about that? I just shot down a mobile suit with ship lasers."
===
Natarle: "Uhh... the colony's starting to fall apart."
Mwu: "Who cares about that? I just shot down a mobile suit with ship lasers."
===
Athrun: "Kira! That really is you, isn't it, Kira?"
Kira: "Oh. Hey, Athr-"
Athrun: "Do you not know what a childhood promise is? Did you even listen to me for one second?"
Kira: "There was a big... giant... birdie."
===
Athrun: "Didn't the Writer wanna abridge the movie?"
Kira: "He wanted to... abridge... an abridge? Man, what's the world coming to?"
Writer: "I'm right here, you know!"
===
Murrue: "Well... I heard of warm welcomes, but this is bit to hot even for me."
Natarle: "How is this in any way a warm welcome?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "You've never been to a frat house, have you?"
===
Fllay: "Woaw... They really wanna make this place safe, don't they?"
(a bunch of soldiers with guns enter the room, completed by the accompanying sound of removing their safety-locks)
(chubby minor char. crewman): "Does no one realize bad things happen every time she talks?"
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Haven't you ever wondered why we were never breached, ever, in this war?"
Mwu: "Because this base offers no strategic value whatsoever."
===
Dearka: "Yeah, so I can't frickin' figure out why this place has a shield. I mean, c'mon, it's in the middle of nowhere. What the hell are you protecting?"
Izeak: "Li-i-ike, what a lame base. It's only impentrable because no one bothered trying to attack it."
Dearka: "I mean, c'mon, they're protecting something. It's gotta be porn."
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Alright, I'm gonna ask this once; who's the pilot of the Gundam?"
Artemis's second "important" officer: "Please answer him. I don't wanna stick with this idiot any longer."
===
(black-haired cutie crewman): "What are you planning to do with the Gundam?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Oh, nothing more than extending our air-time through this show. I'm tired of being the one-episode-filler guys."
(black-haired cutie crewman): "Uhh... don't you guys know why you only last one episode?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Eh. I don't really care, as long as we get more episodes."
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "This girl... I think she's a possible candidite to being the pilot, don't you think so?"
Kira: "Exactly what kinda logic led you to believe that?"
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Well, I do believe your captin is a woman, and so is your chief weaponer... So, by consistancy, the pilot must be a girl, too."
Kira: "So, with that logic, you think the Archangel is run by the Powerpuff Girls."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Well, tell me then, who is the pilot?"
Kira: "If you've been actually paying attention for one minute, I'm the real pilot."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Huh huh huh. Enough with the jokes. You're not the pilot. You're too young."
Kira: "Wait, you think I'm too young? But you thought the girl was the pilot... Boy, you're ten kinds of stupid, aren't you?"
===
Artemis's lead filler villain: "That strength... and reflexes... you must be a coordinator!"
Artemis's second "important" officer: "Sir, if beating you up means you're a coordinater, then my 12-year-old niece is also one."
Artemis's lead filler villain: "Ok, for the record, your niece is a dirty, dirty fighter."
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