Monday, January 18, 2010

Fan Fiction Quotes

"So the angels are evil sex changing alien teenagers?"- weebee from FanFiction.Net (a random NERV worker)

"So he was living with a crazy person. What else is new?"- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Ranma)

"Misato sat at the kitchen table, sighing in relief as Ranma and Shinji walked out of the room. Every time she looked at the pigtailed boy, she kept seeing an image of gigantic white wings stretching from a field of snow superimposed over his form."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (in a narrative view)

"Being short-sighted is the best way to combat people with long range plans. It makes you harder to predict."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (Gando Ikari)

"Women are confusing. I turn into one and I don't understand half of the things they do."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Ranma)

"First rule of bragging: Unless the other guy has explicit proof that you're wrong, NEVER admit that what you did is less impressive than what he did."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Ranma)

"'If there's a fight somewhere, It doesn't matter if he has to break laws of physics to do it, Ranma Saotome WILL get involved.'"- weebee from FanFiction.Net (Daisuke quoting an old Furinkan High motto)

"Nothing better to get those really bad thoughts out of your head than a sex change."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Ranma)

"They were also drawing strange looks, but these ones were mostly generated by the fact that they were apparently having a very intense shouting match while holding hands."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (in a narrative view)

"I didn't say I was indestructible, just damned lucky."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Kaji)

"She's too annoying to die, and I'm too stubborn to let her."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Kaji)

""I mean how you're going around, changing the future!" The other girl yelled, and then blushed as she noticed that several nearby people had turned their heads to look. "Look, this place is too public, we're going to a restaurant to talk." Not noticing that the residents of Nerima had just shrugged and gone on with their lives after hearing something about possible time travel, the girl grabbed Saffron by the hand and started pulling."- weebee from FanFiction.Net (as Skuld)

"Normal is a very funny euphemism sometimes."- Kyia Star from FanFiction.Net (as Mai)

"If I slap him upside the head... would it help?"- Kyia Star from FanFiction.Net (as Lin)

"Only gay men understand women."- Kyia Star from FanFiction.Net (as Bou-san/Takigawa)

"Is he talking to... his hair? He is, isn't he?"- Millie M. Banshee from FanFiction.Net (as Tetsuzaemon)

"Bra Sizes. A-Almost a boob, B-Barely a boob, C-Can't complain, D-Damn, DD-Double Damn, E-Enormous, F-Fake, G-Get a reduction, and H-Help I've fallen and I can't get up!"- Millie M. Banshee from FanFiction.Net (written as a text message from Yoruichi)

"Why does Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi wear his Zanpaktou up front and center? I mean wouldn't that hurt having that right there? He's has got to be kicking it all the time and clashing it with his 'other sword.' What if he caught it on something underfoot? Can anyone one say, 'ouch!'? Or maybe he's compensating for lack there of if you know what I mean. Hint, hint..."- Millie M. Banshee from FanFiction.Net (as Kon)

"How does Captain Kenpachi Zaraki keep his hair up like that, huh? He can't be using standard hair gel. And what's with the tiny bells on the end of each spike? That would drive me insane. I mean every time I moved my head I would jingle. Talking about a ringing in one's ears. Sheesh... Not only that but those spikes have to be super hard to stand straight like that and when you add in his sheer height I wander just how many birds he's skewed over the years? I shudder and the mere thought of it..."- Millie M. Banshee from FanFiction.Net (as Kon)

"If I can beat the crap out of flaming chickens, I can beat the crap out of flying books."- Author Roy from FanFiction.Net (as Ranma)

"Narcissists should be drowned at birth."- jactehsniper from FanFiction.Net (as Mai)

"I rank about as high as a bad book; only there to fill the gap because it looks funny if left empty."- jactehsniper from FanFiction.Net (as Mai)

"Naru batted the collar away again, and stared angrily up at her. Mai glared back determinedly, before retrying. What followed was a battle of reflexes: Mai to get the collar on, Naru to keep the collar off. One pounced, the other dodged and thus they wasted ten minutes of their morning, punctuated by growls, hisses, Mai's yelps of pain whenever she lost her balance and crashed into the armrest, and Naru's orders to cease and desist."- jactehsniper from FanFiction.Net (in a narrative view)

"Naru didn't answer he just turned away from her stubbornly, his eyebrow twitching, the ears slipping into a droop from the sudden movement. The normally handsome young man suddenly looked very cute and adorable, like a sulking kitten."- jactehsniper from FanFiction.Net (in a narrative view)

"Luella, your house is haunted! The toaster won't stop staring at me."- Cullenvs.Black120 from FanFiction.Net

"He's the Easter bunny but he had a rough childhood so the tough outer shell is causing him to look like a demon ninja-butler named Jason Myers with knives for fingers that hitchhikes on Fleet Street but in reality he's a fluffy bunny!"- Cullenvs.Black120 from FanFiction.Net (as Mai - Ghost Hunt)

"They all resumed their original poses, having gotten over the disruption that Naru had made. Liz shot him a look, telling him not to mess this up again. He simply frowned at her, basically saying 'I'll mess it up if I want to.' She frowned and elbowed Naru in the stomach, causing him to double over, he knocked into Mai who was flung against him after Masako tripped backwards into John. Naru was still doubled over in pain with Mai draped over him, John and Masako were tangled together which looked really awkward. Luella tripped over her own feet, bumping into Yasuhara who hit Bou-san. Bou-san, having lost his balance, hit Ayako in the butt. She spun around, slapping him in the face and sending him reeling into Lin and Madoka. While his grandparents stood calmly in the middle, smiling at the camera."- Cullenvs.Black120 from FanFiction.Net

"The memory loss is gradual. Shinigami have between ten and thirty years after gaining their spiritual powers before they lose their memories in life completely, which is, for ex-Shinobi, the moment they die. She's been dead for about 15-16 years, and is on the lower half of the average memory loss time. Minato is on the high-end, and has only lost a third of his memories so far. Sarutobi, who only died three years ago, can't tell the difference between natural senility and his Shinigami memory loss. He just hasn't been dead long enough."- Dalxein from FanFiction.Net (Author's Notes exposition)

"Sado was the same kind of genius as Ichigo and Naruto. While they excelled in scholastics through study, their specialty was utilizing information to determine a situational outcome in the fraction of a second. Simply put, they were made to think in combat. Especially when that meant figuring out someone wasn't your opponent before you killed them... A wink tended to be a good indicator of this."- Dalxein from FanFiction.Net (from a narrative view)

"Deep in the dark recesses of the Village Hidden in the Rain, four figures stood in the void that was their lair. One knelt in quiet subjugation before another, who was glaring down at the first. The third held their gaze down on the bowed head condescendingly. The fourth leaned against the wall, contemplating life, existence, and the wonders of dairy products while juggling various fruits and humming a spirited tune."- Dalxein from FanFiction.Net (from a narrative view)

"Forged by a path of blood and pain, I walk the line of gray. Memories of old destroyed by the new, I face my demons like I knew. Forever bathed with blood and pain, I walk through the darkness towards the light of day."- Myevltwin from FanFiction.Net (author's summary)

"Thinking of life,we fail to realize,that our lives are just clocks counting seconds till our impending death."- Akuma-Chibi from FanFiction.Net (author's summary)

"Sometimes support comes in the form of bamboo rails and in other times it comes in the form of falling straight on your ass."- RayShippouUchiha from FanFiction.Net (author's summary)

"As Kuwabara recovered from his near suffocation by soda, the rest of them began to gather their wits."- YumeMori from FanFiction.Net (in a narrative view)

"If she could label moments, she would have no issues labeling the coming one as pure hell."- YumeMori from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

""You must be joking!" he shouted, his arms flailing in an attempt to make the situation clearer."- YumeMori from FanFiction.Net (as Kuwabara)

"On the other side of town, Inuyasha was sneezing and gagging himself to an early grave, cursing his ultra sensitive nose vehemently."- L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net (from a narrative view)

"She wasn’t sure whether her astonishment stemmed from Shikamaru being awake at this ungodly hour or his sliding a mug of steamed milk across the table to her the moment she sat down opposite him. As if he had expected her. As if he knew that there was a lot she needed to get off her chest."- L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net (in Kagome's narrative view)

"Should she be concerned the hastily drawn arrow had looked like words to her?"- L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net (in Kagome's narrative view)

"If anything, her words made him redouble his efforts to lead her to another section of the market (her stomach can thank him later)."- L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net (in narrative Shikamaru's view)

"Who makes lemonade with a blender anyway?! And why’d you have to forget to put the top on?!"- L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"It's like babysitting two year olds... Two year olds that have guns and swords."- Youshiie from FanFiction.Net (as Kurama)

"Love is a mischievous mistress, indeed. She can ensnare you all at once, with a single glance, or she can slowly infest her way into the whole of your heart."- SachiNyoko from FanFiction.Net (as Usagi/Serena aka Sailor Moon)

"That is the fate of anyone of legend I think. If they ever were real that is, and they live, they simply fade into the background, and live quietly, until they are all but forgotten."- Sorry Charlie from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"Fear is the darker side of faith."- Sorry Charlie from FanFiction.Net (as Shippo)

"Science teaches that all things trend towards entropy. All things fall apart; decay is the natural state of world. The new building begins to crumble from the moment the first foundation stone is put in place. Societies rise only so that they can glorify their ultimate fall. Even intangible things are susceptible to entropy. Ideas inspire, then are forgotten in the mists of time. Relationships are born in a fiery passion and burn out, leaving nothing but cold hard reality."- muishiki from FanFiction.Net (from a narrative view)

"She thought, unconsciously tilting her head and looking passed all the people passing her by, unaware of even her presence as they went on with their undeniably short lives. Making a living that when they die will be for nothing. Even if all the money they make goes to their friends and family—it's all for nothing, because in the end, it's all going to be lost. Everything they did will be forgotten and lost in the pages of life, slowly fading like lost memories..."- Reiuko from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"This wasn't working. The more Ikkaku tried to convince the kid to relax, the more he writhed and lashed out. Annoyed and getting thoroughly confused, Ikkaku did the only other thing that came to his mind: he banged his forehead into the kid's head, hard, effectively knocking him out. He had a vague impression that he had just failed some cosmic "Dealing with children – The basics" test, but he didn't care: he'd gotten the results he wanted, that was all that mattered."- Delmarch from FanFiction.Net (as Ikkaku)

"An imaginary voice in his head had just told him that he disgusted it. That was bad. That was really bad... He could see only one way to deal with that... "Another one!""- Delmarch from FanFiction.Net (as Ikkaku on a drinking binge)

"Life is like a book. From birth to death, cover to cover, the story keeps going with a chapter for every year. Comedy, suspense, tragedy, romance, horror, the list goes on. There's a genre for everybody."- yellowmoon27 from FanFiction.Net

"The instructions asked the rest of the book if they should combust yet, or wait another five minutes. The rest of the cooking book said wait five minutes. The cake instructions swore furiously in the sugary sweet language of cakes and sugarplums."- sorciere de roux from FanFiction.Net

"A man can only be the universe's chewtoy for so long."- Moczo from FanFiction.Net (Narrative view about Hitsugaya)

"Anger turned to disbelief. Disbelief collided with confusion. Confusion lead to mounting realization. And realization died laughing as the full humor of the situation made itself apparent."- Valakun from FanFiction.Net (from a narrative view)

"For some reason, the idea of calling a hundred meter tall bloodthirsty raccoon demon 'mother' was disturbing."- Sdebeli frm FanFiction.Net (as Naruto)

"I can deal with my few seconds of depression for the sake of making another smile for much longer."- angelic memories from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"The world is a riddle."- angelic memories from FanFiction.Net (as Seria, Kagome's handmaiden in the Western Palace)

"This can't be real. It has to be my imagination. Maybe I've spent too much time in the [Feudal Era]. Too many razed villages, too many burials, too many [demons] and too much caffeine."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"Your spirit is strong. Foolish, but strong. To stand and fight to protect your charge, despite your weakness and to stab your fear, by stabbing that human filth. This all speaks of the power that dwells within you. One can train one's body and one can train one's mind, but a strong spirit is something that one must be born with."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Sesshomaru)

"There are no regrets in this life. To live in vengeance and lament is to ask for an eternity of suffering. This Sesshoumaru is too proud to walk such a path."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Sesshomaru)

"Nothing was as simple as it seemed. No one was a simple as they seemed either."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"There is only one prison and that's the one of your heart and mind."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"A man buries that which he loathes or fears, but a dog buries that which he treasures."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"Like love and hate, pride and shame are not such different feelings."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"Impatience often leads to ignorance and that alone has led even the mightiest to their demise."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Sesshomaru)

"Matters of the heart and the soul can affect even the most disciplined of warriors."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Sesshomaru)

"All creatures care for their young, for their family and the intelligent ones may even love their children. Whether they are good or evil does not matter for love does not change the fundamental nature of the beast."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"Bravery and foolishness are often one and the same. All that separates them is success."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"The answer to the mystery was here, but her path as it always has been was to the future."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"There are times when the past is best left to be forgotten by more than those who cannot remember it."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"Her voice failed her as she was snared by the baffling significance of his words. That is until she realized how inadequately it had answered her question."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"You are not a lord of [demons], but of vague and unfulfilling answers."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"We can't change what happens in the past, but we can decide what we make of our mistakes in the future."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net

"I hope you will always find peace with the sea and even more so inside your heart."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"Innocence doesn't last forever. It's just not meant to. Sometimes though, it's nice to pretend. To go back to a time when a tangled knot in your hair was your biggest worry."- LadyBattosai from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"There is no way of guaranteeing anything ever. The mystery of fate is solved at the moment it becomes now. Not before then."- Greed's Accident from FanFiction.Net

"I wonder what it was that hurt you so deeply. I've figured out what your problem is. You've locked away every emotion, until you have nothing left but what you believe protects you: hate, disgust, superiority, and pride. And because of that, you've lost the ability to trust anyone. And without that trust, there is no one that you could honestly call a friend."- Serephina of the Kamis from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"Acting as if you know all is not wisdom."- Serephina of the Kamis from FanFiction.Net

"Since the beginning of time, Mankind has sought to improve itself. Great cities and empires have been built, which have later crumbled into dust. Amazing scientific theories about the universe have been discovered, which have later been proven wrong. Complex battle tactics and advanced fighting techniques have been developed, which have since been made obsolete with the invention of weapons of mass destruction. And while Mankind has been doing all this women have sat back and watched them as they made asses of themselves."- Kagehoshi Shadowstar from FanFiction.Net

"Memory lane was a section of an old farm."- PsychicOtaku182 from FanFiction.Net

"Right, and Sesshoumaru wears boxers with hearts on them."- Illianbo from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"You try imagining Gramps poking through your love life. Better yet, imagine five hundred years worth of gossip being recorded and poked around by said nosy Gramps."- Illianbo from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome)

"Oh my God! I've been reincarnated as an imbecile!"- mrthou from FanFiction.Net (as Yahiko)

"From trees and earth to flesh and bones, everything burns at the right temperature. But sometimes the most dangerous flames are the ones in our hearts."- ConsistentlyInconsistent from FanFiction.Net (author's summary)

"Darkness was his playground and he was very comfortable in it. After all, he was a creature of the night."- ShadowFoxMoon from FanFiction.Net (as Alucard - Hellsing's Dracula)

"Why were these people so obsessed with their automobiles to completely dedicate a room to them?"- Aura from FanFiction.Net (as Byakuya)

"Is it really even math anymore when they put in half the alphabet? I feel like I'm taking some sort of strange advanced vocabulary test..."- Aura from FanFiction.Net (as Kagome, about "the precalculus nonsense in front of her.")

"Renji started to wonder if he had actually died from his wounds in the war and he was instead in some sort of bizarre hell of endless paperwork and annoying co-workers."- Aura from FanFiction.Net (in Renji's narrative view)

"Don't write. Don't call. Just send us the reimbursement check."- Ithilwen K-Bane from FanFiction.Net (as Kurama - YYH)

"That fruitcake was covered in strawberry decals. A person living with an allergy needs to take some self-responsibility."- Ithilwen K-Bane from FanFiction.Net

"So let me get this straight, Kurama; We've faced down everything from evil tournaments to psychic rifts in the space-time continuum, and you want us to go up against a fanfiction site for ditching a few stories?"- Ithilwen K-Bane from FanFiction.Net (as Yusuke)

"Spare me the details. When I want to know what goes on inside the human body, I'll slice one open."- Ithilwen K-Bane from FanFiction.Net (as Hiei)

"Well, every once in a while, one of those rich, arrogant types – the guys who think they can, and try to, buy their way out of anything – happens to have the ability to see spirits, like you. A Soul Reaper pays them a visit... well, Byakuya makes an especially convincing Grim Reaper."- Shadowed Bankai from FanFiction.Net (as Rukia)

"Aizen was gaping at the screen as Ulquiorra put his hand on his hips and rolled them. He watched in pure horror as his favorite Espada put is arms on his head and did the whole Macarena dance once again."- Name Whore from Fiction.Net (narrative)

~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Davros from FanFiction.Net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~
Ranma: "Oh, man, you're a 'wise, old' martial arts master are you?"
Third Hokage: "I'm old. But I think a wise man would have found another successor by now. Why do you ask?"
Ranma: "Because wise, old martial arts masters are always – always – nuts. Either that or perverted."
Mousse: "Cologne isn't nuts or perverted."
Ranma: "Cologne teaches random strangers the secret techniques of her tribe for personal amusement. How normal is that?"
Anko: "I am Anko Mitarashi. And for some unfathomable reason the power that be have decided that I will be your jounin-sensei."
Ranma: "Lucky us."
Anko: (continues, ignoring Ranma) "It's really, really hard for me to think of something I'd choose training a bunch of over-aged genin over. So don't expect me to make this test easy for you."
*Ryoga bared his fangs at her in a ferocious grin.*
Anko: "But I suppose we should observe the formalities. So likes, dislikes, dreams. Cough it up to your spectacular sensei, boys."
Ranma: "I like martial arts and dislike fiancées. My dream is to be the best. Uh, that's about it."
Anko: "Weirdo. Next."
Mousse: "I like Shampoo and dislike... competitors. My dream is to win Shampoo."
Anko: "I'm not even going to touch that one. Next."
Ryoga: "I like martial arts and dislike arrogant bastards. My dream is to be the best."
Anko: "And people think I'm strange. Okay, now-"
Ranma: "So what about you then? Come on, cough it up to your sensational students."
Anko: "I like dango and dislike the snake bastard. My dream is to kill the snake bastard and stick his head on a pike for all to see. Satisfied?"
Ryoga: "I... have no idea how much this is. Is it a lot?"
Anko: "Idiots. It's enough to live off for a few months. An A-class bounty brings in a lot of booze and dango."
Ranma: "Great. If I ever want to wind up stinking in a gutter somewhere, I'll take your advice right to heart."

~**~~~~~~~~~ L.A.D. CORP. iNC. from FanFiction.Net ~~~~~~~~~**~
Kagome: "Oh. My. God."
Shikamaru: "Oh, those. They smell nice and they help me relax."
Kagome: "Nice?! Relax?! What kind of guy are you?!"
Shikamaru: "A very gay one; now leave my candles alone."
Shikamaru: "You made curry?"
Kagome: "Lee gave me the recipe."
Ino: "So... the daisies didn’t work and now you’re going to drug her."
Shikamaru: "Yes, knocking her out for a couple of days will do me real good after she wakes up."
Kagome: "Stop acting like it'll kill you; it's just tea, with honey and lemon!"
Shikamaru: "‘JUST’ she says... knowing you, there'll be cayenne pepper and butter somewhere in there too."
Kagome: "But it'll help you recover! Do you like being sick?!"
*his eyes bulged at her confirmation. he struggled even harder to escape*

~**~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hieirulesall from FanFiction.Net ~~~~~~~~~~~~**~
SpiritFighter (Yusuke): Didn't you call him a fool while he was here, though?
MasteroftheDragon (Hiei): Yes, but I think everyone is a fool.

~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kyia Star from FanFiction.Net ~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~
Bou-san: "You've still got a lot to learn about life."
Naru: "Don't you mean women?"
Bou-san: "Naru-chan, only gay men understand women."

"- from FanFiction.Net ()


  1. Hello! lol, this is Illianbo. :3 I love your list and, I have to say, I'm very flattered to have made it! After reading this, I'm going to look up some of these authors. :)